Sometimes it’s hard to face your fears and strike up a talk with a stranger but really, what do you have to lose? You might think that you’re the only one with a fear of talking to others, but the reality is that this is the number one fear among Americans. Stop throwing out awkward jokes hoping that someone will laugh at them. With just four simple steps, you’ll be ready to talk to anyone and everyone.
1. What do you have to offer?
Talking to friends regularly is no big deal, right? Well, talking to strangers should be very similar to this. It's normal for nervousness to settle in but put this aside by adding a bit of confidence. Instead of thinking what that person has to offer for you, think about what you have to offer for that person. If it's a business partner, then you have an awesome project to propose to them. If it's a potential friend, then you most likely have some killer advice to share with them. If it's for romance, then you have a wonderful heart to open up to that person. Everyone has something great to offer, you just have to tap into that idea and you'll be able to boost your confidence tremendously.
2. Face the truth. There might be rejections.
In order to find out if it's a locked door, you need to try opening it first. Not everyone will be friendly. They might not have time to talk to you or they just might not be in the mood to talk to anyone. This should not keep you from trying to talk to them though. You never know when that one person will become your next best friend, partner or colleague. Just make sure that when you're going to talk to someone that the person looks like they have time for you. There are obvious signs of when to avoid someone. If they look like they're about to get up and leave, or if they're thoroughly involved doing something, that's a sign that they're not up for a conversation. But if they look bored or if they're just being idle, it's usually a sign that they're waiting for someone to talk to. You might get rejected, but you also might just strike conversation gold.
3. Remember that a stranger is just a friend you haven't met.
This step is the easiest in my opinion; all you have to do is talk. You can make a simple comment about something or ask a question about the surrounding area. Avoid bad small talk like "the weather is nice this time of year," because you'll probably only get a one-worded answer of agreement. Instead, ask them a question like, "How did you find out about this place?" This type of question is easy to follow up on. For example, if they answer that they met people through work or school you can ask them about their profession or you can comment about the similarities you might have. You don't necessarily have to have mechanical answers or questions, just talk normally. Whatever you do, don't just ask random questions that you have memorized as conversation starters, this will be boring and will catch the listener off guard.
4. Don't let it end there.
If you're done talking but you wish to continue the conversation at another time or you want to continue meeting with that person, exchange numbers or business cards. Make sure that the person knows that you genuinely enjoyed talking to them and would like to continue working on that relationship. If they give you their number/card, then your job is to let them know that you will contacting them soon and then contact them at least three days after the initial conversation. This step is important because after three days they will not only remember who you are, but they will also remember the conversation you had with them.
Striking up a conversation is only difficult if you make it so. There are, inevitably, people who will be bad conversationalists, but there will also be people who will want to talk with you. You just need to have a bit of confidence to start talking and be an active listener to continue the discussion. The key is to be yourself. Just remember these four simple steps and you will be able to talk comfortably with anyone and everyone.
