Talking to other humans is probably not my greatest strength. Talking to other people when I have absolutely nothing to say to them is even worse. To help my other socially awkward friends, here is a full proof list I've compiled to help you start a conversation with anyone, anywhere.

1. Hit Em' With A Pickup Line

I know what you're thinking...pick-up lines are only for cheesy guys at bars wearing snapbacks and ripped muscle tees. Well, not anymore! Pick-up lines can be used in your day to day life to pick up romantic partners, friends, and even some new close workplace associates. Here are some of my favorites: "Your dad must be a drug dealer because you're dope!" "What are you doing for the rest of your life? Because I'd like to spend mine with you." "Nice face!"

I'm pretty sure that this actually works because Jason Sudeikis landed the absolute goddess Olivia Wilde by supposedly strolling up to her and stating, "Whatever it is you're looking for, you don't need it." I'm pretty sure I could write an entire article on this (and I will). This is a modern day Jedi mind trick. Complimenting her while somehow lowering standards? Amazing.

2. Tell them your origin story.

Trust me, people love this one. You don't need an introduction, just walk up to them and start speaking like you're Abraham Lincoln. Picture this: you see a cute guy at a party. He isn't looking at you. You walk across the room, gesture dramatically and begin "Four score and seven years ago, I was born in Long Island!" He's gonna love it.

3. Small Talk

If you're too nervous to automatically start with the history of yourself, maybe try out some small talk. Some foolproof ones are religion, the environment, education in America, your favorite endangered animal, Donald Trump's hair.

4. When all else fails, imagine them in your underwear.

I never understood this one, but because of my crushing need to be liked and accepted, I'll add it to the list. Every other article has already included it, so it must mean something. Boxers or briefs? You decide!

5. Tell them you're new in town and you need a tour.

Act as though, unlike every human being in America, you have never heard of Yelp. Pretend you actually need a human being to tell you where to eat or get your laundry done. Ridiculous, I know.

6. Hope they take pity on you and talk to you first.

This is my most tried and true method. Talking to other people is hard, especially when you're shy, and sometimes you just have to hope someone else will make the first move. If that doesn't work, though, move right through to pick-up lines. You can do it, little weirdo!