"Bob's Burgers" is a masterpiece and Tina Belcher is a feminist icon from start to finish. It seems only right to honor her by getting her take on our horoscopes for this month. After all, Mercury is finally out of retrograde.
1. Aries (March 21 to April 19)
Aries are impulsive, dramatic, and once they decide they want something, boy, do they want it.
2. Taurus (April 20 to May 20)
A Taurus is well-grounded and not afraid to stick to their guns. A Taurus doesn't need a boy to pay attention to them.
3. Gemini (May 21 to June 20)
Poor Geminis, they're so confused. Are they afraid of zombies? Or do they want to make out with them?
4. Cancer (June 21 to July 22)
If you've ever met a Cancer, you know this couldn't be more reflective of their emotional and dramatic nature.
5. Leo (July 23 to August 22)
A Leo can't always understand that their needs be might a little bit much for those around them.
6. Virgo (August 23 to September 22)
Virgos love nature. You can bet your buns that theirs will be out when the sun is.
7. Libra (September 23 to October 22)
Oh, Libras. Notorious people pleasers that will pull out every last ounce of charm to avoid confrontation.
8. Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)
A little sneaky, a little cynical. Every Scorpio has a few tricks up their sleeves.
9. Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)
You can always count on a Sag to blur the line between optimism and idealism. They (almost) never fail to deliver.
10. Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)
Capricorns are known for their responsibility. But they can also quickly become known for being a know-it-all with a complex.
11. Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)
Blunt and a little aggressive, an Aquarius is confident enough to say what they're really thinking.