Frankly speaking, probably nine out of every 10 people by their young adulthood has been found guilty of being a doormat. A doormat is simply someone that lets people walk all over them without utilizing their voice to stand up for themselves- just like that faded mat outside your front door. The mat that was once fresh and bright, but somehow lost its vibrancy from years of wear and tear. Some may refer to this offense as being a "pushover," but I'm a sucker for a good simile. I myself have pleaded guilty of this crime. A crime I committed for about 18 years until college brought me my voice. There are five effective ways to restore your vibrancy, but just like other bad habits, it is a process to recovery.
1. Stop saying "I'm sorry" for virtually everything
I will be the first one to admit I am incredibly guilty of this. If a waiter got my order wrong, my response was "I'm sorry." If someone got caught for cheating off my paper, my response to the cheater was "I'm sorry." Seriously, if a girl came up to me and slapped me right in the face I would probably respond with "I'm sorry." Just stop it. The majority of the time I wasn't really sorry, I just felt like I needed to say. Well, you don't. If you say a phrase too much it will lose the meaning entirely.
2. Some people just plain out suck, so do not try to please them
Not everyone will like you. There is 7.6 billion people on this Earth. The odds of every person enjoying your company is slim to never going to happen. Betty White is literally the most perfect person on Earth and I'm sure she even has some hate clubs and fake twitter accounts that bash her. If Betty can't even get every person to like her, why waste your precious time trying to please people?
3. Being the “better person” or taking the “high road” does not mean silencing yourself
Whenever my mom or a friend told me to take a drive on the "high road" I always thought they just meant to be passive. I was always a naturally passive person around friends, so it wasn't hard to do. They would use harsh words and I thought I just had to take it in order to be the "better person." Wrong. A doormat allows people to insult it because duh, it's an inanimate doormat. You, my friend, are no doormat (obviously), so respond back. Tell them they are wrong and how you are nothing shy of amazing.
4. Sticking up for yourself does not have to be spiteful
You can avoid being a doormat and remain classy at the same time. Voice your opinion and don't be afraid to stand against the current, but avoid personal attacks that would make you just like the person walking on you. Play offense, not defense.
5. Do not let the fear of “starting drama” stop you from voicing concerns
For years I always kept my mouth shut in hopes of avoiding drama within friend groups. The thought in my head was, it is just not worth it. I would rather subject myself to unfair treatment than to risk my friends not liking me. It wasn't until recently I discovered how truly pathetic that is. If something is not fair, tell them. If someone is being mean, tell them. No one should play their life on the sideline.
