October is National Bully Prevention Month, something that gets a lot of attention after a terrible suicide or horrendous school shootings, but then it fades away, left to the dark corners of our minds. Many people with children struggle with the subject of bullying and we as parents need to lead by example and watch what we say around tiny ears. Your actions and words have a great impact on your child’s outlook on life.

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. This link will take you to Stopbullying.gov and has some great resources to help parents and children understand bullying and they offer resources to help those who have experienced bullying. With the Digital Age upon us, cyberbullying has become a big issue. There have been several live broadcasted suicides on Facebook just this past year. The sad thing is, there were other teenagers watching and no one called for help when they saw what was going on; some even added fuel to the fire by telling these children to go ahead and do it. No one did anything!! To me, that makes you just as bad as a bully.

I was bullied throughout middle school and high school because I walked on my tip toes which made me look like a permanent ballerina. I was called all kinds of names and physically threatened by a group of girls because I looked at one their boyfriends. Yes, because I looked at a boy. Now, I didn’t run home crying each time I was called a name and humiliated in front of my fellow students. I did, however, try to play hooky to get out of going to school because the girls were really mean to me. I had blonde hair and blue eyes and considered a pretty girl. My mother finally caught on to what was really going on, especially since I loved school and now I never wanted to go anymore. She told me, “These girls are jealous of you, that is why they are messing with you. Don’t give them the satisfaction in knowing they hurt you and stand up for yourself. Never allow others to make you feel less than and never think you are better than other people either.” Those were her sage words at a time that I didn’t understand why these girls would call me the nasty names they did. Most of them didn’t even know me, I bet you most of them couldn’t even tell you my name. I think girls have the propensity to be worse about bullying than their male counterparts. I was called a bitch, whore, and slut by girls way before I was called that by a boy.

I am sure everyone saw the news covering the girl who talked her boyfriend into committing suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning. Michelle Carter was sentenced to 15 months and supervised probation, seems like a light tap on the wrist of someone who exploited her boyfriend’s problem with depression and kept telling him, “To just do it and get it over with.” I felt like she deserved more time after reading her texts to Conrad Roy III. At first, I was thinking he was still responsible for his actions. How could he allow her texts to influence him? But as a person who struggles with depression, I can understand where he must have been mentally, and he leaned on her for support and got nothing but a callous display of no compassion for his mental state nor his well-being.

I know there are those going through worse than what I went through during my school days. We didn’t have the internet or social media so I think I got the light end of the stick, but others like 8-year-old Gabriel Taye were not as lucky as I was. This little boy committed suicide at a time where the world should have been treating him well. He should be running, playing, and laughing with his family and friends, not in an early grave. My heart goes out to his parents because I can only imagine their pain of losing their baby so early in life to bullying.

Katelyn Nicole Davis's death was broadcasted live on Facebook. Even by the end of the day, I was able to find this video which went on for what seemed like forever with the young girl setting up her death scene where she hangs herself. This poor 12-year-old girl mentioned in her blog several times that her step-father sexually abused her and that her mother was still seeing him. The state of her bedroom was deplorable with a big hole seeing straight down to the outside ground. Again, no one bothered to report this very long video that leaves off with Katelyn swaying in the tree she hung herself in. It was so heart wrenching to see this very intellectual and pretty girl end her life. The video haunted me for days and still to this day I cannot believe that none of the people watching tried to do anything.

I could keep going people because there are many more of these lost children out there. Parents, talk to your child each day. Watch how they act when they talk about school. Do they come home in disarray? Bruises you haven’t seen before. Let them know that it is ok to speak out and stand up for themselves. I know as parents we are extremely busy but we owe it to our children to give them the strength of character and the ability to deal with situations such as bullying as well as our compassion and strength as well. If you think your child is being bullied at school, go speak with the teachers and let them know what is going on so they can be aware also. Sometimes they have so many students that they don’t notice everything either. Be involved in your child’s life! Show them how to handle bullies through role-playing. I know it sounds a tad silly but it may help them to know you are there for them and ready to help. Most children don’t tell anyone because they are embarrassed and scared of retaliation from their bully.

It is time to take a stand and say NO MORE BULLYING!! Give your child a voice and stand with them this month, and every month, in preventing bullying of all types.