I hate being the center of attention and I hate being in a position where I have the opposing view and have to explain myself. I am more of a person that likes to blend in with the crowd and keep my thoughts and opinions to myself. But, as I have seen in the past year and months I’ve spent in college, that is not a very efficient way to go about your life. People stand up for what they believe in and people stand out for various reasons, be it academic, athletic interests or how they look. I have learned to appreciate that and I am learning to live the same way.

So, why have I not lived my couple first years of life like this? I’ll admit it, my biggest fear is being rejected and being useless. I like feeling like, even if I am not doing anything, I am still a part of something. I like being in a position where, if an opportunity arises, I will be someone people will turn to for help, I will be someone people will see as useful and an essential part of the team. I like blending in with the crowd until I am ready to shine.

I hate standing out because it calls too much attention to myself and even if I do stand out for something good, when I do something wrong, everyone will notice. It kind of shields from having to live up to people's expectations of how I am supposed to be and how I am supposed to perform. If you stand out academically, for example, people expect you to always be like that. They expect you to be smart, so they come to you for help with assignments. They expect you to be first in everything. They expect you to go to the best schools. But when you don’t do any of these, when you fall short of even one of these, it makes you feel disappointed in yourself and others may be disappointed in you too. If you'd just been part of the crowd, your mistake would have gone unnoticed, and everything would be fine because everybody messes up. But, what do you gain from this? What do you gain from being like everybody else? What do other people gain from being like everybody else?

I hate feeling like I always have to please others, but I always find myself thinking too much about what others think that I forget who I am and what I want to be. I believe this is the biggest fear that people who don’t like standing out have. However, I’ve found that this fear is so irrational. I always look at people who stand out in so many different ways and I wonder how they do it. How can you just be free and be you and not worry about what others think? It may seem so hard but it so easy. You just don’t care about what other people think. Bottom line is, you’re living this life for yourself and no one else. The people that may look at your weirdly at any moment have not been with you since the beginning and will not be with you until the end, so why should what they think affect who you want to be?

So many benefits come with standing out, and so little come from not standing out. Standing out, whether in a good or bad way, means you will be known and you will be able to attract others of the same interests and likes that you would not have been able to if you had decided to blend in with the crowd. You attract people and opportunities. You create a brand for yourself, and you are able to market yourself through that brand. You become unique and interesting, and you become a special part of the group.

Now, for standing up for yourself. First off, no one knows what you want for yourself but you. You know your best self. You know what you like and what you don’t like. You know what you want and what you can’t stand. You are the only person that can stand up for yourself. You’re the only one that can fight for yourself.

I spent my middle school and high school career blending in and expecting others to stand up for me. For the most part, they did. The good part was, I had good friends. The bad part was, I never gained much from all those moments. I didn’t get the chance to say what I wanted to say. I never got the chance to create a positive image of myself, and so I appeared weak and too dependent on others. I think this may be the reason why nobody ever dared to bother me, for they knew I would not put up much of an opposition. It’s not that I don’t have opinions; I have SO many. But I hated being the one with the opinion that did not align with everybody else’s. That is until college, a place where everybody has different opinions, for the most part. I didn’t have those friends from sixth grade to point me out and ask me to speak. I was, for the first time, in a space where, if I said anything or not, I would be the only one affected. Nobody else would care but I would. And I did.

So why stand up for yourself? Well, somebody has to and the best person to do that is you. It builds your confidence and creates a positive and strong image of yourself to other people. It shows that you can contribute something different to the group, you’re not just filling up the empty seat in the room. This goes hand in hand with standing out, you don’t want to in a room just to “warm up the seat,” you want to be contributing something to the overall conversation. When you stand up, you stand out, and when you stand out, you are able to stand up for yourself. No matter how uncomfortable it may be, it is important to remember that, you are the only person that is truly on your side, you are the only person that know what is best for you, you are the only person that knows who you are. You have to stand up and stand out to let others know as much. That's how you make connections and create a brand for yourself.

This month, as a result of a “Stand Up, Stand Out” discussion session I had, I have been challenged to stand up and stand out. It kind of wakes you up a bit when you try to blend in with the crowd, but everybody in the crowd is trying to stand out and stand up for themselves, so you end up being the dull, boring, weak one, which isn't a great way to stand out.