"You throw like a girl."
"Man up."
"Boys don't cry."
"Act like a lady."
Throughout my life, I have heard these phrases thrown around almost on a daily basis. It seemed so normal to me when I was younger, so I never questioned it. As I got older, I began to wonder, why aren't boys allowed to cry? Why can't men wear makeup without being made fun of?
It's because gender roles exist.
Before you call me a crazy feminist or a liberal snowflake, hear me out. I am not here to completely bash gender roles. In some cultures, they can be very important. However, I believe that in our Western society, gender roles tend to leave people out that don't fit the traditional mold.
In America, we are told that men are the head of the household. They provide for their wife and kids, are supposed to be masculine and are the only ones who can fix things around the house. Women are seen as weak, soft-spoken and emotional. Women are the ones who cook and clean the house and take care of the children. Growing up, we are told what to wear, what toys to play with, what sports to play, and proper etiquette towards the opposite gender.
But what happens when you don't fit into society's normative roles?
The answer is simple- in general, you will become an outcast and will be discriminated against. The problem with gender roles is that they are so ingrained into our society, that people who may be different from the norm will feel completely out of place, resulting in depression and despair. This is one of the many reasons why suicide rates are very high in transgender populations.
From a young age, boys usually have big shoes to fill. Men are supposed to be able to change a tire, participate in sports, and "get their hands dirty" when need be. They aren't supposed to show emotion because that can be seen as too feminine. My question is, why? Some men just don't want to keep up with sports, and that's okay. Some men don't know how to change the oil or a tire and don't WANT to know, and that's okay too. As a society, we need to realize that some men either can't fit into those roles or don't want to fit into those traditional "masculine" roles. The same goes for women and traditional "feminine" roles. At the end of the day, we are all people with our own emotions, feelings, and interests. Society shouldn't dictate what we can and can't do because of our legal sex.
In addition, gender roles can limit possibilities. Women are told by society that they aren't smart enough or good enough at certain jobs, so some women avoid that type of work. This is one of the reasons why STEM fields are predominantly male. In our society, women are usually seen as soft-spoken and submissive, therefore it is seen as odd to go against what your man wants. I often hear women say in public, "I can't do ____ without talking to my husband first." This idea that women are the more "submissive" sex and need approval can limit opportunities and interests that a woman might have.
I am a huge believer in equality in all aspects of life. I believe that women should be more encouraged to join a career in the STEM field. I believe that more men should be able to be stay-at-home dads. I believe that if a young boy wants to get a doll instead of a toy truck, then they should be allowed to do so. I believe that men should be able to wear dresses if they so desire. I believe that women should stop expecting their boyfriend/husband to pay for every date. I believe women should have to register for the United States military draft. I believe that men and women should not be limited by these outdated roles that we are pushed into from birth.
Although we are making great strides against the limitations of gender roles in in the twenty-first century, discrimination is still very prominent against those who don't fit the traditional mold. If you are feeling out of place, then try to ignore those who are telling you what you can and cannot do. As long as you are happy and your partner is happy, then don't worry about what other people say.
I believe that as long as it's not affecting you personally, then you shouldn't worry about what other people are doing. Don't make snide comments about the unconventional couple that lives down the street from you. Stop telling your sons to "man up." We should all strive to be a more inclusive society where everyone feels like they have a place to be whoever they want to be, without question. We should be able to choose our own path, whether it's the conventional path or not.
It's 2017. It's time to break those stereotypes.
