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Student Life

The Five Stages of a Puppy Obsession

When your love of dogs has gone too far.

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The Five Stages of a Puppy Obsession
Krystina Lyons

Today started like any other. I went to Dunkin' to get my morning black coffee and sat down by the window looking out onto Massachusetts Avenue. I sat there checking my emails when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him. The most beautiful Hungarian Vizsla I have ever seen. And then I spiraled and went through all five stages of grief in about five minutes.

Stage 1 – Denial

I don’t need a dog. I’m a sophomore in college, and I don’t have the means to pay for a dog the way he needs to be spoiled and cared for. There’s no way that I would give that dog a sufficiently incredible life, and it’s not necessary for me to even think about it.

Stage 2 – Anger

Why do social norms dictate that I can’t have a dog until I’m older? Why do I have to wait simply because I need a “normal college experience?” That’s so incredibly stupid. I want to make my own decisions. This is MY life and I should live it how I want to! And who arbitrarily determines how much Vizsla’s cost, I mean really. They’re the best dogs in the world, duh, but seriously why do they have to cost so much?

Stage 3 – Bargaining

Seriously, I promise that I will get the best grades EVER and I mean all A’s, and I will go to the gym and exercise so much more, and I will totally be the most productive I’ve ever been. All I need is the dog. That dog will make me the happiest I have ever been and I will always be ready and happy if I have that dog. He is the cutest and I promise I’ll be super-duper nice to everyone if I get that dog. He’s just the BEST, how could you not love that face and be happy for the rest of your life with him in it?

Stage 4 – Depression

I will never have a dog ever again. I will live alone for the rest of my life without any love of a dog. My life will be a sad existence of wishing and hoping for every animal that ever passes me by. There will be no more flowers, no more happiness to be found. I will forever be a shadow of the human I once was. I shall long for every dog that I see till the day that I die.

Stage 5 – Acceptance

Well, there’s no easy way to put this, but I won’t be getting a dog. After thinking about it quite a bunch, I know that it will be okay. Maybe later on, down the road, I’ll have the ability to have all of the Hungarian Vizsla’s that I’ve ever wanted, but that’s not in the cards for right now. I need to believe that, later on, I may get the dog I’ve always wanted, but that will be farther down the road.

Update: I’m getting a dog.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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