Why would I want to put myself through all that pain when cake exists?

You realize that "Hey I have so much energy let's go work out!"

You show up ready to kick butt. You're life is going to be together. Maybe you'll run to Target and get some workout gear. While you're there might as well get that lipgloss light you saw, that pillow with the monkeys on it, and the monogrammed towels.

Getting to the gym you start out strong.

Nothing can stop you at this point. You are alive. Your blood is pumping. You can feel every nerve in your body just light up. You have decided to start out on the treadmill, because that's what you know how to do, and you're feeling good.

Now you're about two minutes in and you're starting to feel it.

Maybe this was a mistake? Why can't I breathe? Are my pants chaffing? Why am I sweating this much? When was the last time I worked out? Has that lady even worked up a sweat she's been here for hours?!

Oh no, I can't just run and then leave.

Looking around you realize that you should probably try some of the machines before you leave. You wouldn't want to seem weak. Some guy is pumping over a hundred pounds while I can't even pump five. There's some girl stretching with her legs over her head. This machine requires you to do what?!

It's finally time to leave.

You know what half an hour at the gym is fine. I can come back next month. One sit up can last me a life time right? Is that guy judging me? Do I even care anymore? I can wear these yoga pants on the weekends for lounging around right? They don't ever need to see the inside of the gym again, right?

As soon as you walk into your house you see it...beautiful, beautiful junk food.

You worked out anyways. It doesn't matters. Cake is good. Ice cream is good. Everything is wonderful with chocolate melting in my mouth. Who cares if I don't work out regularly cake will never make me sweat. Ice cream would never ask me to tear my muscles apart to stay healthy. Life is good when unhealthy food is involved.