In my honest opinion there is nothing better than a Friday night. You're done with class for the next 2 days and have just had the longest week of your life, because every week is the longest week sometimes at college. But, it seems that every Friday goes pretty much the same...
The "Pre Pre-Game" Eating
There is nothing worse than the feeling of drinking on an empty stomach. So, you have to prepare yourself by eating greasy foods that will save you later.
The "Songs To Get-Ready To" Playlist
The Photoshoot
We are all guilty of it, so we all embrace it. It's the infamous photoshoot that takes place in front of the same wall that every Friday night where you channel your inner Kendall or Gigi and give the utter most to achieve that one insta worthy pic.
The Pre-Game
Now you whip out your Barefoot or Sutterhome rosé moscato, because you're that classy girl, and then you put your lips up to the bottle and pass it along until you're three bottles in and $20 closer to filling for college student bankruptcy (aka asking your mom).
The Pep Talk
It's at this moment that the Uber has been ordered and you realize that this is your last opportunity to run to the bathroom in. You just washed your hands and are giving yourself one last check before heading out for the night. You remind yourself that you are a strong, beautiful, young woman who doesn't need a man. But at the same time it wouldn't kill you, so go out there tonight and slay.
The Uber
There are at least 7 girls in the back of a 5 person car, heightening all of your senses making you instantly regret the outfit you're wearing, while your thighs are either stuck to the seat or your cheek is pressed up against the roof, and you're thinking like honestly what was going through your brain when you looked in the mirror?! But, now you're en route and it is far to late so now you have to suck it up.
The Goal
You're now in the frat house that is way to small for the over capacity of kids in it but, you still manage to find him. Your goal for the night. Usually someone who isn't super out of your league that you could go up and talk to at least to feel some sense of accomplishment, if things don't progress of course.
The Basement
Notorious for being the home of the DJ and the mosh pit of sweaty dancing. Here is your chance to show off the moves that you've been practicing in your room in front of the mirror when you're roommates at class, and the blinds are shut.
The Bathroom Break
You and your friends squeeze into the dirty bathroom, which is missing toilet paper as always, but you couldn't care less because you've "never had to pee so bad in your life OMG."
The Second Wind
Pretty self-explanatory.
The Tears
You have officially reached your peak drunkness and at this point pretty much anything can make you cry because you are so emotionally unstable. And it's at this point that you know that your night is slowly but surely coming to an end.
The Late Night Binge
Now that your back in the sanctuary that is your room and feel as though your life is in nothing but drunken tear soaked shambles, the only way to cope is to order the item off the menu with the highest number of calories to be delivered, for obvious reasons. If you're able to change into sweatpants before this stage, snaps for you.
The Recap
It's time to piece the night together, like where did your roommate disappear to for the 30 minutes before you left, and why is your arm bleeding. It's such a crucial step in order to really soak the glory of the night and bask in each others post-calzone inhalation state.
The Triumph
It's officially over, another Friday night. You can now pat yourself on the back because you did it, you're alive. And if your makeup is off, your over sized t-shirt is on, and phone is in its charger with no alarms set, then you truly won.
But remember to rest well because in 24 hours you'll be doing it all again!
