I often tell my family and friends I’m convinced I was born in the wrong time period. I like polka dot dresses, record players and old romantic movies. I’m not a big fan of how relationships have evolved. What ever happened to taking a girl out dancing, going steady, wearing your boyfriend’s class ring or just simple dating? In the hook-up generation, dating has become this complex game of different levels. Here are the stages I’ve established from observing couples throughout my years of high school.
Mutual friends
This stage is the simplest. Boy thinks girl is hot. Boy tells friend of girl. Friend tells girl. If girl is interested, then friend tells boy. If not, friend’s work is done.
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Snapchat
If both think the other is good looking then one must make the first bold, frightening step: adding the other on snapchat. Once the add is completed, selfies will be sent between the two. If text is used in a selfie, the relationship is heading in a good direction.
In between
This phase is the most confusing. The couple awkwardly says "hi" to each other in the hall or at sporting events. They still haven’t had a real conversation yet so saying hello in person is weird. However, after Snapchatting for several weeks, both feel they have a duty to acknowledge the other. Friends often help move this stage along by forcing the couple into awkward encounters. Once one successfully snaps a phone number to the other, this stage is over.
Just talking
This phase is when people start asking if the couple is “together.” The answer to this question is, “No, we’re just talking.” Neither has said they like the other one yet, but the couple texts back and forth throughout the day flirtatiously. It is likely that the two have gone for coffee or ice cream once or twice, but it’s still casual.
Together
After hanging out a few times, the couple has successfully graduated from the “just talking” phase. Some face to face interaction has made it possible for them to be more comfortable and both have admitted, in some way, to liking the other person. Congratulations! This is the first big step towards being in an actual relationship. This phase is long and the couple usually hangs out in one of their basements or living rooms, watching movies.
Dating
This stage is activated when the boy officially asks the girl to be his girlfriend. Even if they’ve been on real dates, it is not official until he asks the question, “Will you be my girlfriend?” It may take a lot of time before this stage is reached, but once it is, we finally get a glimpse of some old-fashioned dating. Mini golf, dinner, bowling, the beach, movies and picnics in the park are all things the couple can now do. This is the final stage until a break-up commences.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when a relationship ends suddenly. One person simply cuts off all forms of technological communication with the other without an explanation. I really hope you never get ghosted, but if it happens to you make sure you look really good the next time you see your ghost.
There are many other categories of high school relationships. We have the on-again, off-again relationships, friends with benefits, or the couple that is forever stuck in the “together” phase. No matter what type of couple it is, they seem to all go through some of these stages.
It's no longer normal to just ask a girl out on a date. Instead, dating has become a game where couples must conquer many levels just to go on a real date. Snapchat, Netflix, texting and evolving societal norms have definitely changed high school relationships.
