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6 Stages You Go Through When Dairy Hates You But You Love It

Let's scream NO ice cream!

Indya Markovic

Mar 18, 2018

University of Colorado Boulder

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6 Stages You Go Through When Dairy Hates You But You Love It

Author's illustration

1. Denial

You can totally control yourself around dairy. Like you don’t even really like ice cream anymore, and cheese is soooo fattening so it’s good that you’re lactose intolerant, right?!

2. Anger

THIS SUCKS. Your friends invite you to ice-cream you have to decline because they don’t have dairy-free options, and PIZZA. I mean, its pizza, and I’m expected to not eat it because I’m “intolerant to dairy”?? I mean come on, how unrealistic. WHY DOES MY BODY HATE ME! And when I feel any sort of emotion what do I do? Binge on chocolate AND I CAN’T EVEN DO THAT.

3. Bargaining

Ok, so eating one piece of chocolate isn’t gonna kill you, plus you ate, like, a salad today so that balances it out right?

4.Depression/Binging

F*** it, all you want right now is this slice of pizza, so you may as well eat 5 slices! And while you're at it, let’s throw in a pint of ice cream for good measure. You know what? Make that a milkshake... WITH WHOLE MILK.

5. Regret

WHERE IS THE NEAREST BATHROOM?!

6. Acceptance

You know what, you aren't dying and the world isn't ending. While this is all very unfortunate, you can get through this! Plus, there are so many ways around it! There are dairy-free ice creams and vegan cheeses, and the miracle called Lactaid (insert heart emoji). Also, there are truly benefits to staying away from dairy! Clearer skin and no congestion! So let's scream NO ice cream!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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6 Stages You Go Through When Dairy Hates You But You Love It

Let's scream NO ice cream!

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4.Depression/Binging

5. Regret

6. Acceptance

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You might not see them everyday anymore, but you're still friends and your text messages prove it.

1. "Should I skip class today?"

2. "Did you hear ________ is engaged?"

3. "When are you coming home?"

4. "I finally talked to the cute guy in my science lecture."

5. GIFs, on GIFs, on GIFs.

6. "I saw the cutest puppy on my walk to class this morning!"

7. "Do you remember when we ________ at ________?"

8. "I miss you."

Sometimes these things are both necessary and inevitable.

1. Spending their money - when they actually don't have any.

2. Take naps. Lots of naps.

3. Staying up late binge-watching a Netflix show when you have an early class.

4. Skip a class to do something completely unnecessary.

5. Putting all your homework off for the night before it's due just so you can do nothing for a night.

6. Going out on a Thursday night when you have a test the next day.

7. Making impulsive decisions.

8. Write an important paper in one night.

9. Classifying Ramen as your main food group.

10. Going on late night food runs - and I mean really late.

11. Having more than 3 cups of coffee a day.

12. Doing really dumb, irresponsible things when out with your friends.

13. Finishing an entire show on Netflix in less than a week.

Having this list as you enter college will be extremely valuable and beneficial to experiencing the best year of your life!

1. Chad from Sigma Why

2. Accepting questionable solo cups from any male whatsoever

3. Wasting all your dining dollars within the first two months of school

4. Going to the busiest library when you need to grind out a 15 page paper

5. Skipping class frequently

6. Avoiding taking the bus. You are never too cool to utilize campus transportation.

7. Stressing over assignment after assignment

8. Sitting in your dorm when everyone else is out having fun

9. Staying in your comfort zone

10. Being a douche to everyone

Chances are, they have nothing to do with what you're actually supposed to be learning.

1. "I'm Tired."

2. "How many absences do I have left?"

3. "Did we have any homework?"

4. "Why is it so cold in here?"

5. "I'm hungry."

6. "What grade do I need to make on the final to get an A?"

7. "What time is it?"

8. "I want Starbucks."

9. "How is this going to help me in the future?"

10. "Will anyone notice if I leave early?"

11. "I really need to go to the bathroom."

12. "This class is so boring."

13. "I can't wait to take a nap after this."

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