This article is coming to you live from Dublin so obviously I am the expert on all things St.Patrick's Day. St. Patrick's day is a time to reflect on your religion and remember St. Patrick celebrate with too many drinks and a crowded parade. Here is your drinking schedule so you can party like the Irish.

7 a.m. - Before you leave:

Guinness

As the Irish say, "You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning." I recommend starting your day with a nice pint and eggs to prepare yourself for the day.

Black and Tan

Although not totally PC it's technically part of Irish history so YOLO, and they taste great with kegs and eggs. There's a classy way to make this but the easy way is to fill a glass 2/3 full with a pale ale, then slowly add the Guinness. Bonus points if you add a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

9 a.m. - At the pregame:

Green vodka gummy bears

Skittles vodka

These are perf for a pregame so your squad can keep it sloppy while loudly singing "Shipping Up To Boston" and "Come on Eileen." It's best to make these 3-4 days before. I recommend using Everclear vodka because it won't taste like rubbing alcohol when you mix it with the candy and all the money you save can be spent on shots later! Also, you're gonna think you need a whole handle of vodka but DON'T overfill them.

10 a.m. - At the parade:

Jameson and Coke in a water bottle

Switch it up from Captain and drink a true Irish whiskey. Also, campus security/the cops will never guess that your Lilly Pulitzer water bottle is filled with alcohol (LOL).

12:00 p.m. - At the frat house:

Green beer

This is just a given and your frat party is not lit if they don't do this.

3:00 p.m. - At the bar:

Irish Car Bomb

This is Bailey’s and Jameson dropped dramatically into a glass of Guinness then disgustingly chugged. Also probs not totally PC either but we these shots are the bomb.

Irish Hammer shot

Another shot mixed with Jack Daniels, Irish Mist and Baileys. The name is a good hint for how you feel after.

Baby Guinness

This is an easy drink to end your round of shots because it's only Kahlua and Baileys so it goes down smooth as a baby's butt.

7 p.m. - The hangover:

Irish coffee

The best way to cure a hangover is coffee and more alcohol so this drink is perfect. Mix coffee with Irish whiskey and/or Irish cream and add a little whipped cream for fun.

Sláinte!