The role of "mom" in every friend group is a very important one. Someone has to make sure your friends get to class and don't do too many stupid things when left unattended on a college campus.
Here are X things you say when you're the mom of the friend group.
1. Your shorts are up your butt, it's not hot
Sometimes the truth hurts and "mom" has to tell you that your shorts are giving you a wedgie and your butt is hanging out before you go out.
2. Don't talk to him, he's a loser
Because "mom" knows best and knows who you should stay away from, right?
3. Go to bed, you have class in the morning
Just a gentle reminder that sleep is important.
4. You really should go to class
I know you're tired and your professor is miserable and you'll never need anything you learn in this class, but you still should go.
5. He's stupid and not worth your time
Girl tell him bye.
6. Call me if you need me to come get you, I don't care what time it is
Because I'd rather get a call from your drunk self on the other side of campus than have to go get you at the hospital because you drove home or went home with a sketchy guy.
7. You should really be drinking more water
Headache? Drink water. Hungover? Drink water. Sore throat or cold? Drink water.
8. Is that really your dinner?
Because sometimes animal crackers don't count as a meal.
9. I think I have that in my purse
Hair ties? In my purse. Extra pen? In purse. Band aid? In purse. Advil? In purse.
10. Make sure you wear a coat!
One of my personal favorites. Because it's cold and "mom" knows that she'll hear all about how cold you got when you get home.
11. Don't go there at night, it's sketchy and you might get kidnapped
Because "mom" does her research.
12. What time did you get home last night?
Don't lie, I thought I heard you come in at 3 a.m.
13. If you're going to go out, make sure you stay with *insert friend name here*
Always use the buddy system.
14. Calm down, we'll figure this out
Boy issues? I'll help. Class issues? I'll help. Just calm down and we'll be okay and we'll figure it all out.
15. Be careful!
Just a reminder.
16. Make good choices!
My personal favorite, always a good idea to throw out there.
17. Text me when you get there
Or else I'll worry you got lost or in an accident, sorry.
18. We're leaving, let's go, now!
Because "mom" knows you need to leave.
19. Don't do that
Just don't.
20. Don't forget we have to go to the store *insert day here*
Because if we run out of toilet paper or paper towels life will suck and "mom" knows you'll probably forget.
