I've just finished my wonderful pollen apocalypse this past week. Now that I feel refreshed (without the horrible gunk running out of my nose and a fire burning my throat), I know that I can't be the only one who suffers every spring from this horrible microscopic grain that flowers release every year. To all the normal springtime lovers out there, here are 21 things only people with pollen allergies will understand. (Cue Hunger Games whistle and three-finger salute here).
1. Sneezes, sneezes, sneezes galore!
We're probably blessed more in this three-day period than we are for the rest of the year.
2. Waking up to a burning throat
The moment you wake up, swallow your saliva and feel that burning sensation, you know it's not good news.
3. Drinking so much cold water even though we know we're supposed to drink warm water...
We do it in hopes of it cooling and numbing the throat, but we know it's just making things worse.
4. Taking Claritin every 12 hours...
— even though it's a 24-hour drug.
5. Living off of homemade remedies like honey and ginger
There's also the milk and turmeric powder for the throat.
6. It's easier to breathe through the mouth.
Also, less painful.
7. Sniffling during awkward silences
In the midst of tests and quizzes, we're the only one who's making any noise. And listen —we know it's bothersome to everyone around us, but you try keeping your snot from running a world marathon.
8. When the taste buds go numb
9. Carrying around your own tissue box
Like I said — they're busy running a marathon.
10. Eyes getting watery at any random time
We're probably crying, sneezing and blowing our nose in one go, and you wouldn't even know it.
11. Keeping the weather channel notifications on for these four months of the year
Pollen count, obviously.
12. Oblivious friend: "It's so beautiful! Let's hang outside!"
Uh, let's not.
13. Praying to the gods and goddesses of rain
Bye-bye pollen.
14. Oblivious friend (pt. 2): "If you're sick, you better stay away from me."
Listen, peasant...
15. One nostril open, the other one closed
16. Sleep is the temporary cure to our misery.
For those couple of days, it's lights out at anytime of the day.
17. Having bloodshot, puffy eyes — to a point where it hurts putting contacts in.
"Have you been crying?" Nah, just allergies.
18. Random body temperature fluctuation. Seriously, it's bad.
I was wearing a heavy pullover with a full-sleeves shirt because my entire upper body was freezing. My legs, on the other hand, were another story (wearing sports shorts). The struggle is real.
19. With pollen allergies comes the downfall of hot shower-lovers
Instead, all you want to do is avoid taking showers because your body doesn't know what it wants.
20. We don't want to talk to anyone.
Because talking is such a painful feat with your throat and nose closed up.
21. The glorious feeling of waking up in the morning after three or four days and not feeling any burning sensation or suffering from a stuffy nose.
Ahh, farewell pollen season. Until next time (hopefully not).
