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11 Struggles Of Spring Allergies As Told By Titus From 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt'

Because chances are, if mother nature could be any television character it would probably be him.

Naya Shim

May 01, 2018

Villanova University

11 Struggles Of Spring Allergies As Told By Titus From 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt'

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Mother Nature has been a huge drama queen lately with this inadequate weather pattern. What better way to explain the struggles of Spring with Titus Andromedon from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt?

1. Mother Nature when you open the door.

2. When your allergy medicine starts to kick in.

It's liberating. You are the best version of yourself, now.

3. Having a love/hate relationship with warmer days...

...because you're over Winter but know the pollen count is off the charts.

4. When it rains and washes all the pollen away.

FINALLY, you can breathe.

5. When you see the price of Claritin, Zyrtec, or Allegra.

It's not my fault I'm allergic to nature. Why am I being charged so much?

6. When you see the pollen count for the day.

Shook.

7. Hearing everyone sneeze every 5 seconds.

Bless everyone in advance.

8. Your bank account at the end of the Spring season.

*200 containers of Zyrtec and 4,310 tissue boxes later*

9. When the doctor suggests allergy shots.

I don't know about you, but I will never take a needle for speckles of pollen.

10. Having to walk outside.

Not looking forward to breathing in all the things I'm allergic to!

11. How your face feels after being outside.

Ever feel like there is a film of pollen all over your face? Yeah, me too.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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All names should be "unisex names."

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There are tons of unisex names that are popular: Taylor, Alex, Bailey, etc. There are also numerous names that are used for both sexes, but they’re not seen as “unisex” yet. People are slowly becoming accustomed to the dual use of these names, but for the most part, in their minds they associate certain names with certain sexes. And that leaves those of us with these names in many awkward situations.

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You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

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I get it... I'm pale.

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Everyone has insecurities, that's just a fact. You didn't ask to be born this way. You didn't ask to inherit the one trait no one else in your family has. And you definitely didn't ask to be this ghostly white. But as soon as you've learned to live with it for a while (less wrinkles later on in life, right? right???) someone has to ruin it for you. They have to flaunt they're perfectly tanned body from Spring Break and hold their sun-kissed skin against yours. But I've had enough... here are the things that perpetually pale individuals are tired of hearing.

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11 Struggles Of Spring Allergies As Told By Titus From 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt'

Because chances are, if mother nature could be any television character it would probably be him.

1. Mother Nature when you open the door.

2. When your allergy medicine starts to kick in.

3. Having a love/hate relationship with warmer days...

4. When it rains and washes all the pollen away.

5. When you see the price of Claritin, Zyrtec, or Allegra.

6. When you see the pollen count for the day.

7. Hearing everyone sneeze every 5 seconds.

8. Your bank account at the end of the Spring season.

9. When the doctor suggests allergy shots.

10. Having to walk outside.

11. How your face feels after being outside.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!