Think about this: “If I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?”

I spent the past weekend chewing over this question after I saw someone post it online. Anyone who knows me knows that I have one of those “I don’t care what you think of me, I love myself” attitudes, but not everyone is that way.

Why though? I understand that everyone is different, after all if we were all the same this world would be boring. Nonetheless, I think that everyone should love themselves. Every single person in this world is unique and special, wonderful and beautiful in his or her own way. Why do we live in a world where it is more acceptable to hate ourselves than love ourselves?

Two different events have occurred recently that made me question this exactly:

The first:

I was looking at pictures with my friends and I said “that’s a good picture of me” and my friends proceeded to mock me for saying that. Why? It was a good picture of me, I looked cute. I had spent a lot of time on my hair and makeup and was wearing a new outfit, why can’t I be proud of it?

This is something that really bothers me. It is fine when someone else gives you a compliment but when you compliment yourself you are deemed as being conceited.

Typically, we stand in front of the mirror picking ourselves apart from head to toe and waiting for friend to muster up a compliment. Does that really make you feel better though? Maybe for a few seconds. I’m not saying that compliments from your friends aren’t meaningful, they are. They are when they are genuine and when you aren’t forcing it.

We need to stop looking in the mirror and hating ourselves. Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself. We all have things that we don’t like, but if you can look in the mirror and not see how much beauty that you already possess then you need to get your eyes checked.

The second:

My best friend had to talk about herself, so she asked me “what is my favorite thing about myself?” I tried to help by asking a returning question “What do you like about yourself?” which she couldn’t answer. This makes me really sad.

My friends are all so gorgeous on the inside and out. It kills me when I hear them says things like this. In these types of situations it is always important to support our friends who may be self-conscious. We must remind them to love themselves like we love them as well.

If confidence is the key to success then why is it so rare? And why are the confident people being ridiculed for having it?

If you are someone who could use a little boost, I’m here to help. You don’t have to “fake it until you make it,” there are actual steps you can take to build your confidence.

Here is what I want you to do: make a list. Write down everything that you love about yourself, everything that makes you unique, and things that you are happy you have. Look at this list everyday and I promise you’ll find that inner confidence.

Next thing I want you to do is this: every time you say something negative about yourself, I want you to say two positive things. Also, when you hear someone else say something negative about themselves, tell them something that you love about them.

Confidence is something that we all deserve to have. We need to build ourselves up and build each other up as well.