If Spongebob Had A Dating Profile, This Is What It Would Look Like | The Odyssey Online
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If Spongebob's Dating Profile Looked Like This, Would You Swipe Right?

It's worth asking.

Gabby Triolo
Jun 12, 2020
Pennsylvania State University
553
If Spongebob's Dating Profile Looked Like This, Would You Swipe Right?
Instagram/@spongebob

Spongebob is a fun-loving and all-around good sponge to get to know. He is on the hunt for the perfect person for him. He wants to have somebody in his life that will love and support him and his goals. He is the hottest commodity in ALL of Bikini Bottom.

About SpongeBob

  • Age: Unclear
  • Height: 4... inches
  • School: The Town Boating School
  • Job: Fry Cook
  • Location: Bikini Bottom
  • Hometown: A pineapple under the sea, Bikini Bottom
  • Interested In: His career, getting his license, annoying Squidward, going on adventures, taking care of his pet snail Gary, jellyfishing

SpongeBob's Preferences:

  • Dogs or cats? He is not sure what either of these are, but snails are his favorite pet.
  • Night owl or morning person? Morning person for sure.
  • Favorite sport? Jellyfishing
  • Favorite band? "Band Geeks"
  • Squidward or Plankton? Squidward is Spongebob's favorite person in the whole wide world, so this is a no-brainer.

Never has SpongeBob ever _________.

Gotten his license.

View this post on Instagram
This is gonna be good
A post shared by SpongeBob SquarePants (@spongebob) on Oct 17, 2018 at 7:32am PDT

If there was one funny story from SpongeBob's life that perfectly describes him as a person it's this:

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

Four qualities SpongeBob is looking for in a partner and one they're absolutely not:

  1. Motivated in their career ✓
  2. Good sense of humor ✓
  3. Supportive ✓
  4. Loves snails ✓
  5. Somebody who eats at the Chum Bucket ✗
View this post on Instagram
Ugly, proud, & feeling nauti-cal
A post shared by SpongeBob SquarePants (@spongebob) on Jun 27, 2019 at 6:17am PDT

Want to respectfully slide into SpongeBob's DMs? They're open here:

Instagram: @Spongebob
Twitter: @Spongebob

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

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