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If Spongebob's Dating Profile Looked Like This, Would You Swipe Right?

It's worth asking.

Gabby Triolo

Jun 12, 2020

Pennsylvania State University

540

Instagram/@spongebob

Spongebob is a fun-loving and all-around good sponge to get to know. He is on the hunt for the perfect person for him. He wants to have somebody in his life that will love and support him and his goals. He is the hottest commodity in ALL of Bikini Bottom.

About SpongeBob

Age: Unclear
Height: 4... inches
School: The Town Boating School
Job: Fry Cook
Location: Bikini Bottom
Hometown: A pineapple under the sea, Bikini Bottom
Interested In: His career, getting his license, annoying Squidward, going on adventures, taking care of his pet snail Gary, jellyfishing

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Celebrating Pride with the LGBTQ+ community and their allies this month and every month 🌈 ⁣ (🎨: by @space.ram)
A post shared by Nickelodeon (@nickelodeon) on Jun 13, 2020 at 6:19am PDT

SpongeBob's Preferences:

Dogs or cats? He is not sure what either of these are, but snails are his favorite pet.
Night owl or morning person? Morning person for sure.
Favorite sport? Jellyfishing
Favorite band? "Band Geeks"
Squidward or Plankton? Squidward is Spongebob's favorite person in the whole wide world, so this is a no-brainer.

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My leg! @Nickelodeon is creating #SpongeBob spin-offs! 🤯 Link in bio.
A post shared by SpongeBob SquarePants (@spongebob) on Feb 14, 2019 at 7:15am PST

Never has SpongeBob ever _________.

Gotten his license.

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This is gonna be good
A post shared by SpongeBob SquarePants (@spongebob) on Oct 17, 2018 at 7:32am PDT

If there was one funny story from SpongeBob's life that perfectly describes him as a person it's this:

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

Four qualities SpongeBob is looking for in a partner and one they're absolutely not:

Motivated in their career ✓
Good sense of humor ✓
Supportive ✓
Loves snails ✓
Somebody who eats at the Chum Bucket ✗

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Ugly, proud, & feeling nauti-cal
A post shared by SpongeBob SquarePants (@spongebob) on Jun 27, 2019 at 6:17am PDT

Want to respectfully slide into SpongeBob's DMs? They're open here:

Instagram: @Spongebob
Twitter: @Spongebob

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We're ugly & we're proud! Congrats #SpongeBob YouTube on 1 million subscribers!
A post shared by SpongeBob SquarePants (@spongebob) on Aug 20, 2019 at 10:04am PDT

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Recommended for you

If Spongebob's Dating Profile Looked Like This, Would You Swipe Right?

It's worth asking.

About SpongeBob

SpongeBob's Preferences:

Never has SpongeBob ever _________.

If there was one funny story from SpongeBob's life that perfectly describes him as a person it's this:

Four qualities SpongeBob is looking for in a partner and one they're absolutely not:

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

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9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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