With all of the back and forth going on over the Brock Turner case, I felt the need to say a few things that I think people need to hear about rape culture. If our society were not so heavily ingrained with rape culture, Brock Turner would not be out of prison after serving three months for the rape of an unconscious woman. If rape culture were not so prevalent in our society, a judge would not have asked a woman why she didn't just 'keep her knees together' to prevent her assault in open court. People on Twitter would not be asking which celebrity people would rape if The Purge was real and getting hundreds of replies.
In our culture, rape has become completely normalized. I myself can think of five people from my personal life, off of the top of my head, that have been assaulted. These are people who are continuing to go on with their lives as if nothing happened. But in being their friend, I know that they struggle daily with coping with what happened to them. Some cope better than others, but one commonality in every case that I know of is that legal action and persecution of the people that violated my friends has always been blocked. That's five rapists, just that I know of, that are still free and roaming around Berea, KY. And I'm a fairly introverted person as times; I don't have that many friends. I'm certain that there are more cases exactly like this all over the country that I obviously have no knowledge about. But for those of you who still don't think that rape is a huge problem in our society, or feel that the 'feminazis' are blowing things out of proportion, I've got some news for you:
1/5 women and 1/71 men report being raped in their lifetimes.
Reported. This does not even include the rapes or assaults that are not reported, nor is the trans community represented in these statistics. I want everyone reading this to actually think about that. Think about five women that you know - maybe even women that you love. The odds are that one of them has been sexually assaulted. Does that bother you? Does that make you uncomfortable? Imagine how it feels to be them. To know that there is a 1/5 chance that your life is going to be changed forever, that there is nothing that you can do about it, and that if you try to fight back it could end with death or re-traumatizing situations that will probably ultimately end in your rapist going free. But we're being dramatic? We're man-hating because we call people out for not holding men accountable for their actions? We're being blamed for our assaults? Hell no.
Rape is never the survivor's fault.
There is nothing that a person can ever do that invites you to violate their body.There is nothing that a person can ever do that invites you to violate their body.There is nothing that a person can ever do that invites you to violate THEIR BODY.
Your significant other does not owe you sex. An absence of a verbal 'no' does not mean yes. Being drunk does not excuse your actions of violating another person. One yes after ten no's does not mean consent - that's called coercion, which is also a form of sexual assault. A person that is incapacitated cannot give consent, and their lack of consciousness is not an invitation either. And finally, an outfit cannot give consent. Only the person wearing it.
But rape culture doesn't only cover rape and the lack of concern and persecution of rapists overall, but rather extends further, making our patriarchal society scarier for (primarily) women than ever before. Rape culture, and the fact that it's everywhere in society, causes women to be more on edge when doing the most mundane activities, such as trying to get home, going to grocery stores, or going out with friends. We are taught from extremely young ages to protect ourselves, and then faulted if we 'fail' to do that. Instead of blaming the person that committed the crime, women are made to feel guilty for 'allowing' themselves to get assaulted. Don't you think that if these people could have stopped the assault or avoided it, they would have? You cannot ask women to dress a certain way or act a certain way in order to avoid rape, because in all actuality the way that they dress and act doesn't matter. Rape isn't about sex; it's about power. And while the common cases are men raping women, anybody can be a rapist. Anyone can have that thing wrong with them that causes them to believe that sex is something that they are entitled to from other people, and in all honesty, it is our society that has taught them that. Boys are shown when they are young that they are not accountable for their actions. Boys are expected to be reckless and wild, while girls are expected to be quiet and submissive. Those are the seeds, and the plant that grows from them has been lethal for millions of people all over the world that have survived or even died due to sexual violence.
I could probably write a book on the injustices surrounding sexual assault, but this isn't the place for that. What I hope for the reader to take away from this article is this: there is no justification for violating another human being, and society as a whole needs to stop blaming the victims and start trying to eradicate the issue. At the very least, justice systems need to adequately persecute the perpetrators of such crimes and our entire culture needs to work on ending the stigma surrounding sexual assault so that survivors of these traumatic incidents feel more comfortable coming forward. No more micro-aggressions, no more victim-blaming, no more jokes. This is a serious topic, and one that is endangering people all over the world.
I'll leave you with this little tidbit. When my brother was eighteen, he was advised against getting his partners pregnant. Pregnancy and STD's were the ultimate consequences for him. When I was eighteen, I was given pepper-spray so that I could protect myself from being sexually assaulted on my college campus. While my brother was responsible for not creating new life, I was being made responsible for making sure that nobody irrevocably changed or ended mine.
Don't tell me that rape culture doesn't exist.