During my first semester in university, I was met with a freedom that I had never thought of or had before: my own mailbox. Having this, there was no way for my parents to know what I was ordering, whether it was new clothes, costumes for Halloween, makeup, new sunglasses, or anything else under the sun.

The previously unexplored option of online shopping suddenly opened up to me, and I found myself making order after order of items from all the new websites I was finding. Every occasion welcomed a new order, and my trips to the mail room were becoming more and more frequent.

As Winter break drew closer, I started to take more frequent looks at my bank account. There’s no worse feeling than looking at your bank account and seeing A: less than you thought you had, or B: exactly what you thought you had. There was a lot going out of it, but given I didn’t have a source of income, there was nothing coming in.

Numbers were getting smaller and smaller, yet I kept mindlessly spending. Around the beginning of Elon's month of January Term classes, I went to my parents, tail between my legs, asking for money. I had spent almost all of mine.

I got the lecture I deserved, but even still, my parents were kind enough to give me a monthly allowance with the agreement that I would get a job this summer and make my own money again.

As my mindless splurging tapered off, I started to realize something about my habits: I was spending money to try and fit in, look cool, or be available for everyone else. I wanted the cutest clothes, the hottest new makeup palettes, and the invitation to go to every dinner or brunch my friends attended. I found that there was a stark correlation between the mindless ability I had to splurge and my aspiration to fit the image of being “cool” that I had in my head.

We live in an extremely materialistic world, and during freshman year of university, when everyone is trying to impress each other and make friends, it comes out in full force. I often refused to say no to things even when I couldn’t afford them because I was afraid of missing out or looking lame. This FOMO caused me to put everything else before myself, and in doing so, I threw my budget and savings out the window.

As the end of my freshman year is creeping closer, I’m learning to save my money. I’m learning that I don’t have to go to every dinner, get my nails done every two weeks, buy a new shirt for a party, or order every cute item of clothing I find online.

Of course, I still take trips to my beloved mailbox for the things I've treated myself in buying, but now I’m not doing it for the benefit of my image or for other people. I’m doing it to make myself happy. Saving my money for one special item every once in a while is much more satisfying than spending it on things that, at the end of the day, I don’t actually want.

I’m still working on my habits. I have to train myself to say no and look for ways to make and spend time with my friends that don’t require spending money. What I know now that I didn’t realize my first semester is that your spending habits shouldn’t dictate who you’re friends with. Saving your money is important if you don’t want your budget to control your life, and there’s no shame in trying to do so. At the end of the day, your friendships and self-image shouldn’t be determined by the things that you buy.