One of my friends recently posted about how she had spent the day by herself, going to coffee shops, reading, walking outside, and other solo activities. In her caption, she said that it was one of the best days she'd had in a while. She referred to it as "taking herself on a date." Now, this friend of mine is truly one of the most extroverted people I know, so I was surprised that she had been content hanging out with herself.
As a self-proclaimed introvert, who at the time my friend made this post, lived alone in a dorm room, I found it amusing that a day spent in solitude was rare for her, as this was something that I did frequently. But, I realized that whereas my days alone often weren't planned (like my friends couldn't hang out with me or I had a lot of homework), her day was intentionally spent alone for no other reason than enjoying her own company. I thought that this sounded nice, but I would probably never do it. That is until I was kinda forced into it by circumstances on three separate occasions.
The first instance, I wanted to go back to my college town so I could participate in my friend's yoga class. Since I was already going to be in town, I wanted to meet up with another friend who lives there. However, between my friend's availability that day and the time of the yoga class, I was left with about five hours with nothing to do. I was afraid that I was going to be bored and the time was going to drag by, but quite the opposite happened. I came prepared and spent that time journaling, walking around town, soaking up the sun in the local nature preserve, perusing Walmart, and enjoying an iced coffee. I truly enjoyed myself. Though I would've enjoyed those activities with a friend, not once did I feel lonely. It was this day that I realized that maybe my friend was right: taking yourself on a date can be one of the best things you can do for yourself.
The second instance popped up randomly as two jobs in the same city that I applied for asked for in-person interviews on the same day. I was able to set it up so that I could go from one to another without too much time in-between. I have been to this city before but wasn't super familiar with it, so I expected to feel isolated. During the day, I ended up missing my turns quite a bit and was able to see parts of the city I had never been to before. After the second interview, I was in need of an iced latte, so I sat in a coffee shop alone to enjoy my drink. I had never been to this place and I had no one there, yet I felt really content.
The third instance was the very next day when one of the companies called me back for a second interview in the same city. It ended around lunchtime, so I got a Chipotle bowl before heading home. Again, I sat in the restaurant eating alone but didn't feel uncomfortable at all.
It just makes sense to take time for yourself. If things have been stressful and confusing lately, it can give you time to clear your head and organize your thoughts. If there are some things on your mind, you can think it through or write about it. If you just want to get lost, you can drive around or browse aimlessly through a store. While there's nothing wrong with spending time with other people, some things are best done solo. Also, you have spent more time with you than anyone else in the world, so you should absolutely enjoy your own company.
Spending time with yourself doesn't mean going to another town for the day like me. It could be isolating yourself in a room and catching up on Netflix. Going for a walk or run without a partner. Trying out a restaurant you've always wanted to. There are so many options, many of which can be free, so missing out is only costing you needed peace and quiet.
In this article by Psychology Today, the author suggests that spending time by yourself is actually necessary to mental health: "if you're not regularly spending time alone, you're not living your best life," she claims. All of these times, I honestly had an amazing time, even though it was just me the entire time. "Taking myself out on a date" is something I definitely want to do again in the future. Try spending a day alone: you may surprise yourself.
