On the day the cast list was posted, I looked down at the line and saw the names of 12 other people, and I was so excited to work with every single person on that sheet of paper. I knew immediately that this show was going to be a beautiful, fulfilling experience just because of the people involved.

About a month later, our movement coach had the insight to have us move to music during our first rehearsal, and I have never felt so close to a group of people in so little time. Our individual energies meshed so easily, and there wasn't a single person who seemed out of place or out of the loop. We were all instantly connected, and we began working as a unit on day one.

Our first read through was the following day, and since I only had a few lines, I was able to just listen to the story unfold around a table. I kept thinking, "This show is going to be fantastic." All the cast members were so carefully and perfectly selected for their roles, especially the featured moments everyone within the ensemble had. I still can't imagine anyone else portraying those characters with the honesty you all did, even from the first time I heard your takes on the text.

Every day, when I watched all of you offer up your hearts to this show, I was struck by a "soundless awe" (literally... since my character didn't really speak). I am constantly humbled and astounded by your dedication and instinct and love for art and for each other. You all gave such expressive and nuanced performances, and I admire every single one of you for your wonderful gifts.

I'm so thankful for this opportunity to get to know all of you through this show. I was close with a few people in the cast before rehearsals started, but there is such abundant compassion in all of you that I otherwise might never have experienced. We all laughed and celebrated together, and everyone genuinely cared for the well-being and happiness of everyone else.

We faced a myriad of challenges together. Although they weren't necessarily anyone's fault, they were definitely frustrating at times. We revamped and in some cases completely overhauled blocking over and over until the movement team found something that resonated with this moment or that moment. We marched through our exhaustion around the room and faithfully did our push-ups, involving dozens of others in the show, and it was always so gratifying to see other people accept the challenge. We spent hours running scenes, breaking occasionally for a good laugh and some snacks.

We were immersed in the story long before we even started rehearsing in the space because of our promo shoot. Huddling together in a cold, dark pool for four hours had its pros and cons, but we grew closer because of it, and it made it easier to imagine how the sailors on the Indianapolis felt floating for five nights even though it was still impossibly to entirely wrap our minds around that level of distress.

At long last, we started rehearsing in the water, and we literally poured our blood, sweat, and tears into this show. In the Soundless Awe is unique and technically complex in a way I had never seen, and it took a lot of trial and error to prevent everyone from cutting themselves on the tread and getting rashes from dirty water and having allergic reactions to latex and falling over once the tread was removed. About half of us were sick at some point during tech week and performances, and I doubt a single person in the cast finished this show completely unscathed. My voice hurt thinking about all the yelling most of the cast had to do each night, but you all powered through it like the troopers you are.

Still, the challenges we faced were all worth it when we got to share our show with the audience! One of the things I loved about the performances of our show was that even if I felt that I had an off night, I know the show was still great because there were so many talented people on the stage in such a tight ensemble that it couldn't fail. You all supported each other and sometimes literally held each other up. I know so many people in the audience thought this was a truly special show, and it was all because of the camaraderie in the cast and because of what you all did together.

This is the first time all semester that I haven't been called to rehearsals four or five times per week. While I'm certainly grateful for the time I'll have to practice my repertoire and prepare for exams (and maybe even sleep a little), there's an emptiness that always follows a show's closing. Yes, I miss the performance aspect and the costumes and the thrill of making art for an audience, but with this show, I miss the cast more than anything else. We've spent countless hours together since the end of September, in and out of rehearsal, and I love this family we've built. Sure, I've killed you all many, many times throughout this process, but it was all out of love. I may have also been a little hangry.

I already miss going out for wings and late night after rehearsal with all of you. I miss all the inside jokes and all the lines that made us crack a smile every time. I miss throwing shade at your football teams and threatening to use my shark-like tendencies when you insult mine. I miss all the Donald Trump impressions and our dressing room conversations. I miss splashing each other after we did our push-ups in the pool. I miss all the smiles and hugs and laughs and occasional tears we shared, and I miss all of you.

I cannot imagine a theatrical experience like this every happening again. This show was special in its technical elements with water, makeup (read: molasses and chocolate syrup), projections, and those contacts; however, the aspect of this show that set this show apart from all the rest was the cast. I don't think I'll see anything quite like this. I love and miss you all terribly, and I can't wait to see you all shine next semester in your shows and work with you again soon!