I identify myself as a quiet person, someone who doesn't like to talk much. Some may think that I have social networking issues or am scared to talk with strangers which is to a certain extent true. However, the reason why I don't talk as much as others would expect me to is because I'd rather observe other people speaking rather than talking myself to avoid saying something stupid or trip up on words which I do on a regular basis. I learned that when I think before I talk I sound less like an idiot and would actually sound intelligent for once and I would be able to observe the tone, language, style, posture, and other techniques the other person uses to convey their message. This may come off as me sounding like a communication major, but it is truly fascinating when I focus on the style of the message rather than the message itself. I've reached the point where I'm convinced that a person does not need to say any words in order to get his/her message and I hope I could inspire you to talk less and express more.
I believe that one of the cores of communicating is your tone of voice. Your voice entails everything in your message, and it doesn't matter what your words mean as long as your tone differs from your words, the people listening to you will always take the message from your tone of voice rather than your words. Can you imagine your family or fiance saying they love you in a strict, cold tone of voice? What would you make of that message? You probably would think the message was sarcastic or be weird out why they would say they love you out of the blue with a strange tone. People who can't recognize the importance of their tone often lack charisma, and most people wouldn't acknowledge him/her.
A classic example of this is my dad. He would always try to talk with others in a stern, dominant manner and sends his message with an assertive tone that expresses hostility. His intentions may not be hostile, but his tone of voice as well as his facial expressions gave everything away before he could even explain his message.
Another crucial component of speaking with words is your face. Your face may be pretty, ugly, old, wrinkly, derpy, or completely normal, but a simple change in facial features will automatically draw the listener's attention from your words to your face. Your face "speaks" more than you can with words, so it's important to know what face to use at what point of time. I would often just smile or grin when they talk with me just to show that I'm with them and I'm still listening and that I enjoy what they're talking about without using a single word. A person with no expression on their face wouldn't lead to any major consequences, but they would seem to be bored and unenthusiastic most of the time. It's also scientifically proven that it takes less energy to move your muscles for facial expressions than talking continuously with a mouth. A picture is worth 1000 words; utilizing that is the key to speaking without words.
The last and probably the most important technique in speaking without words is your posture. My communication teacher told me that when a person is covering their mouth with their hand, whether it's intentionally or unintentionally, it symbolizes the person is lying even if they are. When you see a person slouching in a chair, rubbing their eyes, or standing with their hands on the hips or crossing arms across the chest, you already know if the person is business or not. Just by existing you are constantly throwing out all sorts of messages around you so posture is something that can't be ignored.
Do you know that one person who always talks a lot but would often confuse you on what they're trying to say or their meaning is all weak and unsupported by their words? Have you met someone who always stutter on their words and look like they don't even know what they're trying to say? Words aren't the only tools that we use to communicate and yet so many people misuse or not recognize these tools that could reduce the amount of talking and confusing they do. Sometimes you don't even have to talk if you know a person well enough; sometimes you just need to smile at someone and they'll know what you mean. Speaking without words is like a next level of communication, it takes out what is excessive and unnecessary and condenses it into pictures that's easily understood by everyone.
