"So...What are you?" I've been asked this dreadful question more times than you would think, and it's always phrased in a similar fashion. "What are you?" as if I'm not a human, but some sort of animal on exhibit.

I try to respond in the most inconvenient way, partially for entertainment, but more specifically to force the person to be direct with me. I always return with a slightly confused, "What?", usually prompting them to rephrase the question to the genteel, "Where are you from?" Well, I was born in Seattle but I lived in San Francisco when I was really little and mostly grew up in Baltimore, I explain. "No," they shake their head, "I mean what country." I already told you—you do know all those cities are in the United States, right?

Frustration overtakes them as they attempt to get the answer to their question of why I look different than them, but the stubborn person I am won't give in to their ignorance. "So where are your parents from?" I like answering this one. With satisfaction, I say they were both born and raised in California, exasperating the asker further.

"What's your ancestry like?" Ahh. The real question. I start listing the different things I'm mixed with, starting with the European ones. German, Polish, maybe some Russian...Oh, and I'm a quarter Filipino, I add. Their face perks up at the sound of the addition and I know that's what they were looking for.

So here's the thing—I'm not ashamed of my ancestory in any sense. I am proud of the different cultures that have mixed to create me. But my ethnicity is not me. It's not the answer to the question, "What are you?" No. It's definitely a part of me, but when you phrase the question like that, it somehow moves away from curiosity and into a more racist context where you are taking humanity out of the equation. That question degrades me as a person, and doesn't take into account everything else that makes up who I am.

It's a little confusing where the line between curiosity and offensive is, but just think about how you phrase your questions. It IS acceptable to ask someone what their ethnicity is, and it shows that you are interested in their life, but it is a completely different story when you ask it in a manner that makes the other person feel inferior.