Between my aunts, grandmothers, and mom, I have collected quite the list of "Southernisms." And by that, I mean unwarranted yet helpful advice. Now, this guidance is definitely on the traditional end of the spectrum, and if I'm being dramatic (which I never am), I'd coin the whole kit & kaboodle antebellum anecdotes. But seeing as we're in the 21st century, I settled for Southernisms. These life lessons are practical yet impractical, antiquated yet classic, but altogether Southern. Take 'em or leave 'em, but here they are.
1. Don't ever call a boy. He should always call you and at a respectable hour.
However, Mimi should've added—don't be afraid to intervene, as long as it's covert. Mimi went on a blind date with Grandaddy and was not asked for a second, but as chance would have it, a year later they both attended the wedding of a mutual friend. Mimi took her place card from an adjacent table and set it right next to Grandaddy's card. The rest is history.
2. Kiss and make up.
This was Nana's favorite punishment when we were kids. There was little more deplorable than kissing your brother after a bout of name calling. "You're such a baby!" Ugh. At the time, those were fighting words. But I'm sure that Nana's logic transitions to marriage seamlessly. And likewise, "baby" probably won't be a wretched word either, but then again, the verdict is still out on pet names.
3. Always express yourself.
This one comes from my dear Auntie M. She has echoed this for years, and I love her for it. Be goofy. Be silly. Be you. Don't take life so seriously that you can't laugh at yourself or be laughed at by others.
4. Cake is okay for breakfast, sometimes.
This one's a favorite, and it comes from my Aunt Kathy. Honestly, there was never any hope for me. Between all of the sweet tooths in my family, I received a whole set of sweet teeth. To which I say, dessert anyone?
5. Always use sunscreen, even if it takes forever to get a tan.
My mom is from Arizona, and she recounts the days of pre-sunscreen. They used baby oil instead, which makes no sense to me. But I assure you, they did it. My Mom has beautiful skin, so I've learned not to argue and ask for the SPF 50.
6. Don't count your eggs before they're hatched. Don't count your fruits and veggies before they're picked. Etc.
We've had gardens for a while, and the Texas summers can be brutal and drought ridden. I remember one summer we were in desperate need of some rain, and my Grampa did a Native American rain dance. It didn't work, but it's far better to dance than to worry. And then just last summer, coons climbed over the eight-foot garden fence and ate every watermelon growing. Obviously, neither story is a successful one, but they prove a point—don't get ahead of yourself and learn to enjoy the ride!
6. There is no time like college to find a husband.
And to this I say—I hope not! College has long been characterized as a great social gathering, kind of like a ball. You've got four years to find a forever dance partner. But seeing as I've got one semester left, I'm pretty set on calling this one antiquated!
7. No nail polish is better than chipped nail polish.
I know. I know. This is a hard one to swallow, and I am guilty through and through. But I am told that a lady doesn't carry a chip on her shoulders or her fingers.
8. There is little that chicken and dumplings (or any other comfort food) can't fix.
My mom has proven this to me time and time again, and now I am a staunch advocate. What? You're sick? Let me make you food!
9. Be the hostess with the mostest.
In other words, make your house the home that everyone wants to visit because anyone can have a house, but not everyone can make it a home. My mom is the ultimate homemaker, and I hope to follow her example. Sweet tea and a rocking chair, anyone?
10. You can give nothing greater than love.
This one speaks for itself and has been exemplified by all of the women in my life. Love is meant to be poured out, not stored up. And a life well lived is one characterized by love well spent.
