Any self-respecting Southerner knows there is only one brand of rice worth fixing for Sunday dinner or any meal for that matter: Uncle Ben’s Long Grain Rice. Uncle Ben’s is an exercise in perfection. Unless you claim the moniker, “the Village Idiot," I see no reason why a perfectly prepared pot of rice is not a possibility for you. All you need to do is follow the directions and you have a delicious pot of rice, cooked to perfection.
I was visiting a friend in California this spring, and on the menu for dinner that evening was a delicious grilled salmon, steamed broccoli, whole grain brown rice and seared asparagus spears. It was divine! As we dined on this scrumptious meal, I inquired about the rice. He stopped eating and walked over to his pantry and showed me the bag it came in.
I said, “Thanks, I have never eaten brown rice before.”
His response was, “What? How could you go through life never eating brown rice? What type of rice do you eat?”
“Uncle Ben’s, of course,” I said, with a bit of pride.
He started to howl with laughter. I must say, I felt a bit offended.
He went on to explain that people from California make fun of Southerners.
That is when the conversation turned ugly. With a puffed-out chest and certainty in my voice, I proclaimed, “How rude!” My feelings were a little hurt. To think this person would mock southern tradition was unimaginable, especially since I was a guest in his home.
“Uncle Ben’s is delectable, and it never comes out sticky.”
He looked at me with a delighted sparkle in his eyes and said, “You Southern girls… You think you know how to cook.”
I politely excused myself from the table and retired to my room to pout. I am not accustomed to having anyone criticize me, and especially about food. The nerve of this guy! I waited the socially acceptable amount of time to allow him to come and apologize, which he did, and I forgave him for his transgression.
When I decided that I would extend the courtesy of an explanation, I began my first sentence with, “Before I was rudely interrupted, I was about to share with you why white rice is a southern tradition.”
He had the good taste or perhaps sense to allow me to finish my explanation and again offered an apology. I assured him it wasn’t necessary. I began by saying there are a couple of things you need to understand about “us Southerners." We cook the way we have been cooking for centuries. We may not cook your “brown” rice, but we can cook our butts off! There are thousands of cookbooks about Southern cooking. Heck, Paula Dean has built an empire on her use of butter alone.
I assure you, we haven’t gained the reputation for having the highest percentage of obesity in the history of time by steaming our vegetables. We use the word lard, and not for a “Swedish guy." It is an essential ingredient in making the most delicious and greasy biscuits on the planet. A half gallon of our sweet tea is made with a cup and half of sugar. Yes, real cane sugar, not that fake stuff! It comes from the ground, it’s natural. Appreciate that there are all types of cooking and food.
