In response to another Odyssey article, gracefully titled “Southern Hospitality Is As Fake As The People Who Practice It,” I would like to formally apologize on behalf of the entire Southern United States. In the South, we do tend to be overly polite when faced with someone with whom we do not fancy, often using forced smiles and, sometimes even outright sarcasm. We do this as a defense mechanism, you see, for we do not like confrontation, except when absolutely necessary; however, I would hate to over generalize, as everyone behaves differently.

I would like to apologize separately for the Louisiana woman who caused your grief, being from Louisiana myself, I hate for my state to be seen in any light other than the one that it deserves. Obviously, this woman simply did not have the proper manners of a Southern lady, who should always be kind but fierce and never speak of anyone in a way in which she would not wish herself to spoken. Unfortunately, there are those that do not use typical Southern Hospitality as they should, which causes these misunderstandings.

In my experience (granted, I am a Southerner myself), I have rarely come across people who use Southern Hospitality as a means to deceive or manipulate those around them, though they do exist. Most of the time, these people are just jealous and/or are pushing their bad mojo until someone else, just because they think they can. In the South, we have different levels of politeness, distinguished by facial cues and body language, which can become quite confusing for newcomers, as they vary from person to person. In my travels to the northern parts of the country (there have been many), I have been genuinely impressed with the kindness (perhaps tolerance is better?) of many people there, though there have also been those that certainly rubbed me the wrong way in their conceited and pompous ways.

Despite the idea that Southerners are lying about their feelings, if you pay attention to the actual people, we actually are very upfront about what we believe (even though you probably don’t agree with many of our beliefs) and just don’t see the reason to argue with someone with different beliefs if we don’t care enough. I will walk up to a protestor for gun control and deal out a speech, filled with evidence and examples, of why their idea of gun control doesn’t make sense in the long run really quick and without hesitation, but I do not find the idea of telling a girl that she looks like a pig in her new dress appealing because she probably thinks she looks good (the only opinion that should matter is your own).

I’m so sorry that the aforementioned woman did not share your beliefs politically, religiously, or otherwise. We should all refrain from making assumptions about others beliefs, which seems to be quite common recently. For example, many believe that Southerners want everyone to be able to get a gun whenever and as easily as they want. This isn’t true, but no one wants to believe the best of someone they already consider beneath them.

Again, I deeply apologize for your deplorable visit to the South, and I wish you all the best with finding others who enjoy your presence and share your beliefs, as these attributes are obviously most important in any human being. I am very happy that you prefer the north, and I hope that you continue to enjoy it immensely. I will continue to practice my version of Southern Hospitality because I was raised to show respect even if I believed someone didn’t deserve it; furthermore, I have never received any complaints. I wish you the best in all your ventures.