I have always lived in the South, but I have always known I was not a southerner. To start, the short trips over the Mason-Dixon line were never long enough, I never got the "southern charm," I can't stand country music, and I hate the weather. I have been cursed by being northerner at heart but southerner by birth. Here are 5 reasons I don't belong in the South.
1. The food
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I don't like fried chicken, cornbread, watermelon, seafood, pecan pie, or mac-n-cheese. I have never liked the food staples of the South. Eating a "meat and three" feels like a form of torture and everything is fried which is just gross. I would rather eat deep dish pizza, hot dogs, and Italian beef sandwiches in Chicago, Philly cheese steak in Pennsylvania, and cheesecake in New York. All delicious foods, all very popular in the North, where I belong.
2. The clothes
Pearl earrings and necklaces can be found on every southern woman, cowboy boots paired with a thin sun dress are worn to most events, t-shirts that are three sizes too big are worn with shorts that are hidden underneath and it makes you wonder if the girls are even wearing pants, and cowboy hats, baseball hats, and sun hats are in overabundance in the South. None of which I own. I like my heeled boots, sweaters, jackets, and neutral colors. I felt right at home walking the streets of New York.
3. The sports
College football, golf, and Nascar are the South's sports. I hate college football. You cannot make it more than two hours during football season without hearing, "Roll Tide" or "Go Tigers." I, on the other hand, love Ice Hockey, a lot. One of my favorite things about the North is seeing all the hockey memorabilia, I would fit right in with my Capitals shirts, cups, blankets, jewelry, and posters.
4. The language
I don't have an accent and I have never said "bless your heart," "I'm fixin' to," "I reckon," or "ain't." The South is loaded with unique phrases and unless you're from here you may not understand what exactly is being said. If the weirdest thing northerners say is"za" and "yous guys," I'll be fine.
5. The niceties
I hate all the hugs, we give out hugs in greetings and in our goodbyes whether we met them today or five years ago. Why do I have to say hello to complete strangers on the street or give courteous smiles when I most definitely do not want to smile at you? The North understands me.
Now don't get me wrong, I have a few southern qualities like a love of sweet tea and saying "y'all" and "yes, ma'am." I have even succumbed to the use of monograms (I held out for a long time though). The South is a great place to live, but my heart belongs to the North.
