I must say, one of my most favorite things about myself is my ability to go from southern belle to southern sass in .2 seconds, or less. It's pretty easy to do, though, because of our quirky little sayings that sound sweet but really are not... at all. Below are some of my favorite sweet-sounding insults and what they really translate to.
"Bless your heart"
You can say someone is dumb as a brick, but if you throw bless their heart in there, it suddenly sounds much better. Like you genuinely just want the Lord to bless them because they are that bad off... they really need it.
"I'll pray for you"
There's only a slight chance I'm actually going to pray for you. I just want you to know that I acknowledge whatever serious issue you're having and I probably am shaming you for it.
"How.... interesting"
Nothing about what you just said is interesting. It's so dull, in fact, that there is no other adjective that will fit the situation... it's just... interesting.
"I'm just sayin "
This really means I'm about to criticize you or something you just said, more than likely with a strong argument against it, but then throw in "I'm just
"Lord have mercy"
This just kinda fits in where I have no other words to say. You just said something so stupid I don't even know what to say- Lord have mercy.
"Well, isn't that Nice"
Nice is a lot like interesting.... Used for lack of a better word and because it's rude to say that something is "God-awful" to someone's face.
"Thanks for Sharing"
This is really the opposite of what it sounds like. Thanks for sharing, but no one really cares.
"How memorable"
The only way what you said could be memorable is that it was so stupid no one will really be able to forget it.
