How To Sound Like You Can Talk About Basketball | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

How To Sound Like You Can Talk About Basketball

Even when you totally can't.

1710
How To Sound Like You Can Talk About Basketball
TVOM

March Madness begins on March 15th and you, a poor innocent bystander, will likely be bombarded with “sports talk.” They’re expecting you to participate, but you just want to get out of a basketball conversation with as little damage to your reputation as possible. With these few pointers, you won’t need to admit that you know nothing about basketball.


1. In preparation for March Madness, intersperse the word “bracket” into your conversations.

Examples: “Have you filled out your bracket yet?” “What’s your bracket look like?” “I need to devote some serious time to filling in my bracket soon.”

Once the bracket subject has been broached, you can then ask if they’ve bet on it. This will keep the conversation going and it might even steer it in a different direction.

“I’m never sure if the risk is worth the reward with those betting pools.”


2. Talk about everything but the sport itself.

Examples: “These broadcasters are so dry.” “Do you know who’s got the best cheerleaders?” “Do you know where they are playing?”

You sound interested, but you don’t run the risk of falling down the “who won the 1989 championship” rabbit hole.


3. “These refs are calling so much. Just let them play!”

This statement is pretty much a catch-all, and it works for any competitive team sport. Do not state an opinion on the calls of the refs. You will likely get in an argument that you cannot sustain about whether the call was right or wrong. However, expressing a general love of the game and disdain for referee interference puts you on the right track.


4. "Who do you pick for the Cinderella team?”

There’s always one homegrown fresh-off-the-farm basketball team that skyrockets to the play-offs or has some other unexpected success. Just make sure that if you are asked the question back, you don’t pick a top-ranked team. Your best bet is to ask the question first and then agree with the sports fan in question.


5. When asked to predict the outcome of a game, make it about the mascots.

This is my go-to trick to make people think that I care deeply about the outcome of a game. I root for whichever mascot is cooler. Another alternative is picking the team with the most flattering colors.


6. If asked to defend your choice, simply say: "My family has always been a [fill-in-the-blank] fan."

Make up an uncle who went there if you have to. Nobody can argue with family loyalty, even if your team sucks.


7. Sweet 16 is not someone's birthday.

The second weekend of the tournament is called the “Sweet 16.” Use this term liberally. You get bonus points for using “Final Four” to refer to the semi-finals. Nobody uses the term “Elite Eight,” although a few have tried. Stick to 16 and four.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Taylor Swift in orange dress playing a moss-covered piano on stage with bright lights.

A three-and-a-half-hour runtime. Nine Eras. Eleven outfit changes. Three surprise songs. Zero breaks. One unforgettable evening. In the past century, no other performer has put on an electric performance quite like Taylor Swift, surpassing her fans ‘wildest dreams’. It is the reason supporters keep coming back to her shows each year. Days later, I’m still in awe of the spectacle ‘Miss Americana’ puts on every few days in a new city. And, like one of Taylor’s exes, has me smiling as I reminisce about the memories of the night we spent together.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

23797
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
Students walking on a sunny college campus with trees and buildings.

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

9941
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

7203
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments