To the guy that told me he couldn't settle,
Hey, remember me? I'm that girl you dated not too long ago. You know, when we ended things and you told me you "couldn't tolerate anything less than perfect." I'm back. I never got to really tell you how I felt about what you said, so here it goes.
I'm not perfect. I talk too much, I'm stubborn, I'm emotional, I'm insecure. I say I'm not mad when you know I really am, and when you get mad at me I can get emotional and start to cry. I'm not perfect. I don't know anything about cars or trucks or motorcycles no matter how much you talk about them. I don't like many of your friends. I'm not perfect. I wish I could be thinner, I wish I could be curvier, I wish I could have beautiful blue eyes. I wish we always agreed on everything and never argued. I wish that were possible, I wish it was realistic for two people to be perfectly in-sync. I wish more than anything that I could be perfect, so thank you for reminding me I'm not.
That's right, I'm not perfect. I'm learning to accept and even embrace my flaws. And someday I will find someone who sees my imperfections and even finds some of them endearing. I will find someone who loves me for who I am and not who I could possibly be. Relationships aren't perfect. I want a relationship with someone who is different from me and can challenge me, and can handle it when I challenge him. Relationships are messy. They're about fighting and falling apart and working through it because we still love each other. Relationships aren't always easy but even when they're difficult we're supposed to work through them if we truly care. Relationships aren't about perfect, they're about loving each other through the imperfect.
You told me you wanted perfect. You told me you wouldn't settle or tolerate anything less. But what if you're not perfect either? You get defensive when I tell you why I'm upset, you prioritize your friends over me, you spend all your money on truck and car parts but complain about not having your own place. When I cry you don't seem to be troubled by it and just get annoyed. You haven't bothered to meet my family or friends though I've met yours. You let me drive away even when I was upset. You smoke too many cigarettes and you drink too many sodas and energy drinks no matter how many times I tell you to drink more water and be healthier. You have very different political views than me. You're not perfect, either.
I accepted your imperfections and thought you were amazing despite them. I wish you could've done the same. But you know what? I'm doing good. I'm working hard, harder than I ever have. I'm seeing other people and meeting other guys. I'm learning to love myself and I have to say thank you for that, I probably wouldn't have been able to take that step without your harsh words. So go on with your life and your search for perfection. I'll be living my own life and searching for imperfection.
I end this letter by saying that I will never forget you, because you showed me what I don't want in a boyfriend or a relationship. I know you'll probably forget imperfect little me, but who knows, maybe when you realize perfection isn't attainable you'll think of me one day...
From,
The imperfect girl in your past
