First of all, to every “good cop” out there, who joined the force to make a difference in their communities and risk their lives each and every day to help people in need, thank you. Thank you for not letting anarchy reign. Thank you for accepting a job that automatically places you on a pedestal of morality, a higher standard of conduct, and a higher level of scrutiny. Thank you, to the officers who acknowledge a present problem in policing and justice systems that has resulted in the murders of innocent black men, women, and children, and the subsequent lack of justice after these cases that has lead to the national Black Lives Matter movement. Thank you, to the police systems that have reached out to your communities to reestablish trust between police and your citizenry, and that have been willing to enact changes to better protect citizens from deviant officers who might abuse the power they are given. Thank you, finally, for protecting protesting civilians at the cost of your own lives.

I’m sorry that there are people who would retaliate with misdirected anger toward you, not realizing that it does nothing to fix the problems that we face. Dallas should not have happened. A peaceful protest should not have turned into an attempted massacre, especially not toward a police system that has made huge strides in reform to avoid incidents like the ones we’ve seen far too often in the past couple of years. I will always stand by officers like you.

But I can’t stand by all of you. As much as I appreciate your job and your necessary place in society, some of your men and women in uniform have made grievous errors that have gone uncorrected. These “errors” cause me to fear for the life of my three younger brothers, my father, myself, my family, and my friends. As sorry as I am for the tragedy in Dallas and others like it, I can’t help but be more sorry for black families that have had to bury murdered loved ones, while those who murdered them went free, with no justice. Adding insult to injury, these families have to watch as their late family members have their name tarnished in the media, every wrong they’ve ever done brought out in the open for all to see, in an attempt to justify their death as ridding a parasite in our society. See, that doesn’t happen when police are murdered, or nearly anyone else. That’s why I stand for the Black Lives Matter movement, and not “#AllLivesMatter” or “#BlueLivesMatter”—the latter two cheap combatants against a movement that exists because, unlike “all lives” or “blue lives,” Black lives are treated as if they are insignificant in our society.

Therefore, even though I know that, to an extent, it makes your job more difficult, I will not apologize for being critical of every single one of you, and expecting a higher rather than lower standard of conduct and punishment for your wrongdoings when they occur. You train to deal with every day criminals as well as felons, and there is therefore no reason, explanation, or justification for many of the deaths we’ve seen of Black men, women, and children—especially those who were unarmed, or already in custody. I will not apologize for being angry when there is no justice—not even a trial—for officers who kill black men, women and children, or when they get paid leave during investigations conducted by the same office from which they came. That presents way too much possibility for bias, and should not be allowed. If, in court, jurors are not to know or have any extraneous knowledge of the defendant, why are police allowed to conduct the investigation on a defendant they’ve personally known for however long they worked together? I will not apologize for speaking out for justice. I will not apologize for recording your actions for the world to see. I will not apologize for knowing my rights and not allowing you to infringe on them. I will not apologize for not viewing the past actions of my black brothers and sisters as justification for their deaths. I will not apologize for saying their names, over and over again: Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Sandra Bland, Freddie Gray, Alton Sterling, Philando Castle. I will not be satisfied “until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

I have one request, for the sake of everyone with whom I share the distinction of black. Stop killing us.