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Dear Mom And Dad, I'm Sorry

An apology letter for all of my ways that you don't quite understand

Vivian-Jo Horsch

Feb 13, 2017

Heart Land

240

It’s a cycle: a man meets a woman, they fall in love, build a family, and then try to do everything in their power to give their children a better life than they had. Sometimes their end of the bargain means setting ridiculously high expectations for their kids, arguing that they will live up to their potential.

Well mom and dad, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that your valedictorian in high school has become an average college student, and that scholarships did not get thrown at me like you said they would. I’m sorry that I hate working; that I would rather submerge myself into my classes and culture than make any money right now. And I am so sorry that I have absolutely no idea how to make it in this world with my crazy dreams.

But I am not really sorry.

Your generation viewed this world in a completely different light. You were the post-hippies, rebuild America, far right conservatives that are trying to return this country to the “better days”. But I am not. I’m the millennial psych major trying to understand every single angle, see the other point of views. I want to spend my life fighting for all of us underdogs versus the middle class white man. And I may be sorry for always challenging your opinions, but I am not sorry for not being a die hard Republican.

I am also sorry you do not understand art, but I am not sorry that I do. I don’t know how it became such a force in my life, but I am so thankful it did. Art is the one thing in this world that doesn’t need to be defined or worried about, it is natural and raw and became a part of my identity. I know you’re convinced that it isn’t enough to support me someday, but that’s okay. I’m sorry you’re scared for my future, but I’m not scared.

I know you want me to have things figured out. You set me on the straight and narrow years ago, and in your eyes I may have wandered. I hope you know that I am not out to mess things up, but I can't stand to live a life that doesn't mean something to me. We may not see eye to eye on very much these days, but I still need your love and support. You will always be my biggest fans, I hope I don't let you down.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Dear Mom And Dad, I'm Sorry

An apology letter for all of my ways that you don't quite understand

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!