What It's Like to Live With Social Anxiety | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

Sorry, I Can't Hang Out — I Really Want To, But My Mind Is Saying 'No'

Trust me, I would if I could.

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Sorry, I Can't Hang Out — I Really Want To, But My Mind Is Saying 'No'
Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

Have you ever felt like you were forcing yourself to do something that you truly wanted to do? Maybe it's running five miles, maybe it's waking up early to have a productive day. I'm sure everyone has had that type of experience.

For me, it's hanging out with the people I love.

I've always seen myself as an extroverted person, but for the past six months I have just wanted to be alone. But I don't want to be alone. This is probably the hardest thing I have ever wrote because it's so hard to make sense of it, I barely know what I'm saying. I don't know if this is actually called something but this is how I feel 95 percent of the time.

When people ask to hangout in a bigger group of people I freak out and tell people I can't hang out with them. I really want to go but I can't bring myself to actually go. I've thought about how it could be anxiety with larger groups of people, but I don't have any issues being in crowded places or even speaking in public. I haven't put this much thought into something with finals, so maybe it's me overthinking.

Not only do I feel bad for not going to hang out with the people I care for the most, I feel shitty because I'm missing out.

FOMO hits hard when I see people post things on their Snapchat stories, or if those friends don't message me back quickly. I have no answers to why I feel that way when my friends are spending time with those they love when I was also given the exact same option.

I love all my friends dearly but I can't hang out in groups anytime soon and I hope you all understand.

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