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Friendships

Dear Ex-Best Friend, I Miss The Old You

I wish things could have gone better.

Alexi Sanderlin

Oct 23, 2018

Shippensburg University

707

Personal Photo

First of all, get a load of that cover photo.

That was our first ever photo shoot together when we were 15. It feels like it's been forever since that time. We used to be best friends, joined at the hip. We went to football games, camping trips, vacations, everywhere together. Now I barely even know you and it feels like our friendship never even happened.

We met when we were in the fifth grade.

We weren't exactly fast friends, but we grew on each other. We had the same fifth grade teacher, a similar circle of friends, and a mutual love for all things music. We did our first musical together in fifth grade and by the end of the show we were the best of friends and I couldn't imagine life without you in it.

We spent every second we could together from then on.

Having sleepovers, going to the mall, or even just going swimming and talking about cute boys. We told each other everything and I knew you better than anyone else. I was your first model for your photography page when you got your first real camera. We went camping for the weekend and ran off any chance we could to take photos.

We used to get together for photo shoots and dinner dates and they were my favorite.

We could just goof around in front of a camera together and be best friends. We did musicals together as well. You're the only person that could convince me that I was okay enough to try out for a musical after my ghastly role as a guard in the fifth grade. We brought out the best in each other.

We used to sing along to the "Wicked" soundtrack and Taylor Swift albums at the top of our lungs and didn't care who heard us.

We would call the boys we liked and talk to them during sleepovers, always asking the other person what to say to him. You taught me how to dance a little so I didn't look like an utter fool during musical rehearsals. You always used to hype me up even during my worst of decisions and vise versa.

But, after graduation, things changed.

When we went off to college, we promised each other that we would visit and that we would video chat. We kept in touch for a while. Texting, Skype calls, and phone calls in our free time. We went shopping together on breaks, and did photo shoots to catch up. But, we soon lost motivation to keep up with all of that.

We started changing as individuals and suddenly, we didn't fit as well as we did before.

We had turned into two completely individuals that neither of us could recognize. Now when we got together it was awkward and silent. Occasionally playing catch up. Sometimes not even saying anything at all. And recently, we've just lost contact altogether.

It's weird not having you to call.

I have gone through some rough stuff lately, and even though you were never really good at advice, I miss being able to cry to a good friend. You always would give me some sappy speech that didn't really work but it was the thought that counted. Sometimes you'd rage with me a little bit and then laugh at me for being crazy. I need to laugh a little more often.

To be honest, after graduation I didn't really like who you were turning into and it is probably mostly my fault that we don't talk anymore. I stopped reaching out completely to see if you cared enough to text me first, but you never did. But it goes both ways, I guess.

I see your tweets sometimes, occasionally your Instagram or a Facebook post.

But truthfully, I don't really know who you are anymore and I'm not sure I'm upset. I sometimes miss the girl that used to be my best friend. The one I could be myself with and tell everything. But I can't miss the girl you are now. I don't know her.

That girl parties a lot, she makes the wildest decisions and she acts like she owes the world nothing. A lot of this girl's problems are first world rich girl problems and to be blunt, I don't really have time for that.

I'm sorry, that was kind of mean... Anyway, I know things just kind of stopped, I can't really pinpoint the cause of the disconnect. I know it was partially my fault. Knowing our friendship won't ever be the same makes me a little sad. But that's just how it is.

I hope things are going well for you and that you accomplish every dream you've ever told me about. Miss the old you, B.

Lexi.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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