He can be pretty mean.
“But It's okay… Because he doesn't yell at me.”
I can't get him to stop screaming at me.
“But it's okay… Because he didn't cuss at me.”
He called me things I'll never forget.
“But it's okay… Because he didn't embarrass me in from of my friends or cause a scene"
He made feel worthless in a room full of people.
“But it's okay.. Because he isn't controlling me.”
He started controlling where and when I did things. He calls and texts repeatedly when I'm gone.
"But it's okay... he's just worried about me and he loves me. He doesn't isolate me.
He doesn't want me to spend time with my friends or family, only him, no one else.
“But it's okay… Because he says he loves me and he's not violent.”
He smashed his phone and punched a hole in the wall.
“But it's okay… because he hasn't hurt ME.”
He started locking me in rooms and blocking doorways.
"But it's okay, because he didn't hurt me.
He grabbed my arms so hard it left bruises.
“But it's okay… Because he said he didn't really mean to, and it wasn't a punch or anything.
He punched me in the shoulder.
“But it's okay… because I shouldn’t have made him so mad, and it wasn't my face.”
He backhanded me across the mouth.
“But it's okay.. Because he says it was an accident. He didn't mean to hit so hard. He won't do it again. He says he loves me and he's sorry.”
But It's NOT okay.
He will do it again - and he did. That was only the beginning.
NONE of that was okay.
Love is not control, power, belittling, demeaning, anger, fear or bruises.
Domestic violence takes many forms and is everywhere. Physical abuse is the most obvious, but other forms are just as serious. There are many resources and people to help you if you ever fall into this awful cycle. It may feel inescapable, but there are safe ways out. Life after abuse is beautiful.
Be aware. Be safe.
Love yourself.
Do not mistreat your partner, and please: do not allow yourself to be mistreated.
Domestic violence is a highly misunderstood topic. Those in an abusive relationship of any kind don't stay because they aren't intelligent; they stay out of fear and shame, they stay because they want to believe things will get better, they stay because they think leaving is more dangerous than staying, they stay because they are convinced they are worthless and unable to do anything, they stay because they have had all independence and confidence stripped from them, they stay to conform to society, they stay because people do not understand how difficult it truly is to leave.
If you or someone you know is being abused in any way, seek help. There are ways to escape, there are people to support you if you choose to stay in the relationship or if you need help leaving.
Nothing is permanent, and if you are reading this thinking that there is no way out - please know that there is. You're not a prisoner and you are so, so strong.
The one who vows to protect you should never be someone that you need protected from.
Are you being abused?
https://www.womenshealth.gov/violence-against-wome...
Chat with someone online, research, meet with others going through similar situations, make a hotline call.
http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-su...
Attend support groups, call for advice, get more information at the Children & Family Center (Maryville, MO)
http://www.childrenandfamilycenter.org/
Any rude comments will not be tolerated. This story is being shared simply in hopes of even just one person realizing that they CAN find freedom and that they do not EVER deserve any form of abuse.
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