As someone who has struggled with anxiety for an upwards of five years, I know all too well that it is not something that can just be forgotten or left behind. It is also not something that anyone should be ashamed about. Mental illness is not a fad that the internet jokes about; it is a serious issue that many people struggle with on a daily basis, and it needs to be treated as such.
Unfortunately, some people are not very experienced with these issues and thus don't know how to act towards people who experience fits of anxiety. In case you are inexperienced, here are a do's and don'ts of interacting with someone who suffers from anxiety.
DON'T:
Say things like "I don't understand why you feel that way."
DO:
Say things like, "Is there something in particular that is making you feel that way?" or, "What can I do to ease these feelings?"
Validating someone with anxiety's feelings is extremely important. Making someone with anxiety feel as if they shouldn't have guilt or worry about a certain situation just because other people don't will only make them feel worse. They need support, and if they're telling you about their feelings of anxiety, they're silently begging you for that support.
DON'T:
Tell someone in an anxiety attack to calm down.
DO:
Give them helpful tips such as, "Breathe, take deep breaths." Doing things you know they like such as rubbing their shoulders, playing with their hair, or anything else that would calm them down is also very important.
Actually helping someone calm down is way more effective than telling them to calm down. As in most cases, actions once again speak louder than words and trust me, anyone with anxiety needs to physically hear that they have someone there to help.
DON'T:
Leave and give them the "space" you think they want (unless absolutely demanded by them, because all people are different.)
DO:
Stand your ground and make sure they know you are there. Many people dealing with anxiety will try to push people away while praying someone will save them. Don't just leave someone because they ask you to-- it will make them feel abandoned and unimportant.
I know we all wish people could tell us exactly what they want, not give us mixed signals, and not expect us to follow hints, but sometimes that is easier said than done. People who suffer from anxiety may not be able to be as straight forward in fear they will seem too needy or clingy. Recognize these signs and stay, even when they tell you to go.
Anxiety is not something that can be left in 2017, as more and more people suffer with it every day. We all are fighting our own demons, so don't make someone else's into a running internet joke and better yet, know how to react when someone close to you opens up about their anxiety or experiences an anxiety attack near you.
Understanding is the first step to accepting.
