Why do we apologize so much? “I’m sorry” has become a catch phrase. We apologize for things we shouldn’t have to be sorry for, but it’s become expected in our society. We apologize for being in someone’s way, when we actually just happened to get there at the same time. If we apologize, we’re giving in. If we don’t, we’re rude. We’re sorry even when something isn’t actually our fault; “I’m sorry” just feels like the right thing to say. Often said out of habit, the word “sorry” has lost all of its genuine meaning. When we are sincerely apologetic for something, it won’t be as meaningful to the other person. If you are constantly saying that you are sorry for things that aren’t worth being sorry for, it doesn’t feel like you are actually sorry when needed.
“I’m sorry to ask, but…” No. If you need something, ask. There is no reason to apologize for needing or wanting something from someone else. If you wouldn’t expect someone else to be sorry, then you shouldn’t be either. Instead, say thank you. It is so much more satisfying to both people when you genuinely are appreciative of something or someone, instead of meaninglessly apologizing. Doing something for yourself is nothing worth being sorry about. You are just as deserving as anyone else.
Apologies are meant for when we do something wrong or hurt someone. You don’t have to apologize for needing something, taking up space, or for who you are. When we apologize automatically for something completely out of our control or instead of defending ourselves, we give others the opportunity to walk all over us. We feel guilty for taking someone’s time because it wasn’t “worthy” or “important enough”. If you left the situation feeling better and you didn’t hurt anyone, then it was worth it.
So, no. I’m not sorry for who I am, or asking for help, or telling the truth. Degrading myself to the point of having no ground to stand on is no longer on my to-do list. It is possible to be appreciative while still having self-worth. Sorry, I’m not actually sorry.
