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Sorority Recruitment Shopping as Told by the Cast of "Orange is the New Black"

"I love you and I f***ing hate you."

Jun 09, 2015

Sorority Recruitment Shopping as Told by the Cast of "Orange is the New Black"

The time has come. Not to be incarcerated (at least as far as we know,) but to finish… or possibly start… shopping for sorority recruitment. Remember when you were rushing, and you thought, “Wow, all of these girls look perfect and I look like a sweaty mess.” Yeah, well now, YOU are the perfect one talking to the sweaty mess. I thought I would magically turn into one of the perfect girls who rushed me, when in fact, that didn’t happen. I was still a sweaty mess, but I had about 30 more t-shirts give or take. This may come as a surprise but you actually need to put effort into becoming one of those “perfect” girls that rushed you. And by that, you need a shopping list with no end in site. Thus begins the ever so wonderful recruitment shopping. Your recruitment chair has prepped you, shown you slide shows, and has trusted you to go on your own in the world.

I think Piper Chapman summed up recruitment shopping best in the quote, “I love and I f***ing hate you.” Much like Piper, I have too found the love/hate relationship that comes with recruitment shopping. While it is fun, it’s also daunting, and while the deadline for your outfits is coming up, so is season three of OITNB (can you guess which one I’m more excited for?). And the cast has accurately depicted the various stages of recruitment shopping. Enjoy.

Initial thoughts: "YAY! New clothes!... CRAP! I'm going to go broke!"

When your recruitment chair tells you to try new things with your hair and makeup.

Having the slight fear that you might not fit in your clothes by the end of summer because of pizza, but you keep eating it anyways.

When the only thing between you and the last pair of Steve Madden wedges in your size is some random girl.

"Did she say metallics were ok? Well they're cute so I'm assuming they're ok."

"DAMN I LOOK GOOD IN THIS DRESS."

"This one is cute but this one is also cute!"

"Cute! All your outfits are approved, see you in August!"- your Recruitment Chair

Don't stress out just yet, you still have time to get your last minute outfits together. And if all else fails, OITNB returns June 12th!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

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