When you tell people you live in a sorority house you can read their faces like a book. It's not the first living situation anyone would choose, but here I am on Year 2. It is a lot of fun living in a house crammed with 42 other girls in a shared tuna can-sized room, but if you're not careful you most likely won't come out alive.
1. Straighteners are like really expensive matches.
The amount of panicked texts from sisters saying, "I just left the house, but I might've left my straightener on. HELP!" is alarming. Walking into the bathroom to see a straightener on top of some Thin Mints about to set the box on fire is a great way to start your day. One question, what did those little Thin Mints ever do to you?! One day our house will be nothing but ashes and a Revlon.
2. Glitter will never go away. Ever.
In a sorority house, you just have to accept the fact that you will be showering with glitter, you'll brush your teeth and find glitter, your yogurt will have glitter, your tears after some boy breaks your heart will be mainly glitter, and when you turn in your Scantron after taking your Physiology test, it will, in fact, have glitter on it. Scrub to your heart's content, but glitter is forever.
3. Hair on Hair on Hair
The amount of hair that collects on the shower floor is pretty impressive. One day you have a nice clean shower and the next there are five hair animals crawling around the drain.
4. Packed like Sardines
The rooms are the size of most people's coat closet and designed to fit one person, yet, here we are sharing a tiny room. You better like your roommate because you will be living on top of each other for an entire year.
6. No meal plan = Episode of America's Worst Chef
Some girls are blessed by the culinary gods and can cook anything they want perfectly. Others, watch the Food Network religiously and still can't tell if their chicken is safe to eat or if that's mold on their cheese. Sitting in the kitchen and watching people struggle is a entertaining as that night's episode of the Bachelor. Cooking is almost always a group effort here in the house, but at least we haven't had that many cases of food poisoning this semester.
7. Microwave Melt Downs
College is the prime time of microwavable meals. Whatever you can make in the microwave is probably what you're having for dinner today and the next day. You slip up one time and accidentally put metal in the microwave and you'll never hear the end of the kitchen explosion you almost caused. To be fair, you're not as bad as the person who burns popcorn and smells up the entire house for hours. We all have our flaws.
8. Makeup induced pink eye
Sharing is caring until you shar eyour new Urban Decay eye shadow pallet and everyone gets Pink Eye.
9. Missing Clothes
The minute you move in you have to own up to the fact that every weekend your closet will be raided and you may never see any of it again. Did you leave your clothes in the drier too long? Say goodbye to the cute frat shirt you wore every week. Someone was like a vulture just waiting for the chance to "borrow" it.
10. Rusty Water Hair Slaughter
When you're house is already falling apart and the air conditioning only works every other day, the rusted pipes are on the bottom of the To-Do list. After a month every beautiful blonde is a rusty orange-blonde or she has spend fortunes on special purple shampoo to save her locks.
11. Sleep is for the Weak
You will never get a good night of sleep in a sorority house. There is always someone coming home at 3 am, night owls roaming the house, or someone ignoring their alarm clock for an hour waking you up. You have to become a heavy sleeper or invest in a year's supply of ear plugs. There is no such thing called "quiet hours" here. The day it is quiet in the house will the day after we all move out.
12. Death by Crafting
Whether it be bleeding to death because someone left a push pin from hanging their banner on the floor (hope you got your Tetanus shot) or accidentally drinking a cup of paint water because someone left it next to your cup fruit juice, you'll have a colorful death. A nice staple gun to the hand or spray paint poisoning all builds character.
Even with all these health hazards, I wouldn't want to live with any other group of 43 girls. They keep you entertained, busy, and laughing every day of the week. You'll never go to dinner, the gym, or the doctors alone again. You never have to cry it out by yourself and you can always count on someone for a quality candy stash on a bad day. Keep track of your stuff at all times, bring lots of band aids, and get ready for the best years of your life.
