I first got a slip under my door from one of the sisters and was intrigued by the idea of making friends that also went to the same school as I did, as I had little to no friends other than my roommate. I called the number on the slip and told them I was interested in joining. They told me the process was simple. I was to come to the sorority house the minimum number of times, get to know the girls and then go through an interview process.

The first night was nice. I went, met the girls who all seemed friendly and inviting. We drank (which I was fairly new to, having only tried drinking a couple times before), and smoked (which I was also very new to) and just talked about the sorority. The girls sang their theme song and talked about the sorority's mascot and other sorority trivia. I really liked the vibe that I felt when I was there, it was warm and welcoming and as I was just learning - really fun to party! Most nights I was there I walked back with one of the sisters that lived in the same dorm building as I did so I didn’t get lost, as I had a lower tolerance to alcohol as they all did.

After I was there the minimum number of nights they took the names of the people who were interested in being recruited. After that, I was to be interviewed by the “head honchos” of the sorority. They told me during the process of interviewing I was to tell no one about the fact I was trying to join. No one. I wasn’t supposed to talk to the sisters or any of my friends about the fact. I did as I was told and when my time to be interviewed came I was very nervous. I went to the house by myself, I was instructed not to come early and not to come late because there would be penalties against me if I did so. I was to come at the exact time they had scheduled for my interview.

The interview was pretty simple. They asked me trivia questions about the sorority itself and then about who I was as a person, what made me me. I left feeling good about it. I thought I had a chance. And then I got a call either that night or a few nights later saying that I had made it and they wanted me to come over and celebrate! I was ecstatic! I was so happy to have a big group of friends who wanted me to be their sister!

Fast forward to the recruitment night. The nightmare that still haunts me. I went to the house that night and they had me go up to the attic of the house with the other girl that was being recruited. They left us in the room and shut off the attic lights. We were in pitch darkness. We laughed nervously and shared the same thought. We were scared all of the sudden. The sisters had asked us the same question in our interviews: “What is the worst thing you have ever heard about sorority recruitment?” I hadn’t heard much about sororities and when I had asked the interviewers what others had said they replied with “Oh, some people think we are going to brand them but trust us, we don’t do anything like that!”

After about five minutes one of the sisters came to get us and realized the light was off and apologized, saying that they hadn’t meant to turn off the light and hope we weren’t scared. We were, but we laughed it off. The sister told us to follow her and we did so. She looked back at us every so often as we walked down the stairs to the ground floor where there was a circle of the sisters chanting and clapping.

Once we got down to the bottom of the steps two of the sisters popped open some champagne and sprayed it all over us. They all laughed and hugged us, handing us the leftover champagne. Amazingly the bottles were still pretty full for having been sprayed on us.

“You aren't allowed to leave until you finish your bottle.”

I had done enough drinking over the last couple days that I was sure I’d be able to do that. No biggy! I sat around on the couches with the other sisters and finished my bottle, wondering what else was in store for the night. Maybe some pot and some dancing. A regular night with the girls.

The girl that was the head of the sorority announced we would be walking across the street because the boys wanted to see us. “The boys” being the frat boys in the house across the street. We had gone over there one of the other nights that I had gone, and one of the frat boys had taken me into his room and tried to get with me. I being as drunk as I was, would not have been psyched to let anything happen and I was thankful that one of the sisters had come down and taken me from his room before anything could happen.

We walked over to the frat house and went into the basement, decorated with cigarette ash and fairy lights. A bar stood at the front of the space. There was some music blasting and we began to dancing.

That was when it went bad. After a few minutes of dancing suddenly the fairy lights went off and it seemed the only source of light was coming through the door at the top of the steps. The head of the sorority stood behind the bar.

“Here is your first test of the night! You must finish this pot of beer with the help of your sister. Only then will you be allowed to leave the basement. There will be no spilling, and if you spill you must start over! There will be no vomiting, or you will have to start over.”

Now the pot she handed us was not your average sized pot sized. This thing was a cauldron. A gargantuan soup pot. Sloshing around inside the pot was beer. Filled to the brim. I was already pretty drunk from the bottle of champagne, there was no way I was going to be able to do this.

“Is this a joke?” I asked, looking back to the other sisters.

There was only me and the other recruit. And there were at least 50 drinks in the pot. They wouldn’t actually make us do this. Right?

Wrong!

I started off with the pot. One of the sisters moved a garbage big in front of us. I lifted the cauldron to my mouth and took in the biggest swigs I could. I held it for what I can imagine was about a minute before I had to stop. I handed it to the recruit next to me and she went at it until she needed to stop. It took her longer since she was more “experienced” than I was with drinking. I took it back and did my best. After about 30 seconds I decided to spill some. It was dark, they wouldn’t be able to tell. I spilled it down my neck and onto my clothes.

“You’re spilling!” Yelled one of the sisters next to me and the head of the sorority passed them a new, what seemed larger, pot also filled to the brim.

“AGAIN!” She yelled.

I couldn’t. I could feel myself quickly fading. I was blacking out and coming back every so often, confused. I was forgetting where I was and what was happening. I began to beg the sisters around me for help.

Maybe that was the key. Ask for help and they would let me out of this nightmare. I hated asking for help. My college adviser made it clear that to get through college you had to be willing to ask for help, so that’s what I decided to do in this one dire moment.

Don’t let me die like this. Please. It would break my mother’s heart! Don’t let me die in the basement of a frat house covered in champagne and beer!

“You got this.” They whispered back at me. I shook my head and tried again. I spilled. Accidentally this time.

The cycle went again, and again, and again. A new, filled pot, each time. It is an amazing thing that I can remember anything after this point. I don’t remember how this "test" ended. But it did. Then it was the frats turn for the same thing. They got the pots filled with beer and did the same activity.

The rest of the night is a messed up blur. The next thing I can remember, however, was being in the bathroom, with the other recruit, “breaking the seal”. At the sorority, you always had to have a sister with you when you went to the bathroom, it was weird but that was how it was always done.

We were talking. I couldn’t sit up straight on the toilet. My head was resting on the wall next to me. When I was finished and we tried to leave, someone was blocking the door.

“This is your second test.” Said someone from the outside.

I can’t remember this test. It was short, it had something to do with bonding. We passed and were let out of the bathroom and were congratulated. One of the sisters hugged me and took me by the shoulders, looking me and the other recruit over.

"You are now officially sisters."

I blacked out. Hard.

Next memory of the night was me laying on a random bed. I can't recall whether it was one of the sisters' beds or one of the frat boys' bed, but I can guess it was the latter. I opened my eyes and a sister came into the room. It was time for me to go home. I was to go home with no one but the other recruit. I remember the beginning of the walk back, but after that, I blacked out again.

I remember being dragged through the lobby of my dorm building by the "queen bee" of the sorority and a random guy that I did not recognize. The other recruit was behind us. My feet were dragging on the floor. There was no way I could stand.

I do not know why they did the next thing. It makes no sense to me.

Instead of dragging me to my own room, they dragged me to the unrecognizable mans' room. The moment they dragged me into the room I started puking. Over and over again. I started crying and begging for them to take me to the hospital. To call someone. The head of the sorority said no. She told me I was going to be fine.

Another black out.

Next thing I remember I was actually in my own room. My roommate was woken up and she opened the door. She helped the recruit and the head of the sorority drag me into my bed, where I leaned over and vomited acidic fluid onto the floor. The sorority queen handed me her Gatorade and told me to drink it if I could. I couldn’t drink anything. Was that a joke? Was she mocking me now? She left the room and the other recruit had me lay on my bed. She then proceeded to help me get undressed. She took my clothes off for me. I wasn’t even sane enough to feel embarrassed about all this. I was just relieved to be in my own bed, at least.

The next day I woke up. Head splitting. I immediately vomited onto the floor, again. I called my mother as soon as I could. Happy that I even woke up. I hadn’t died. It was a miracle. I needed to see my mother. I needed food, although I wouldn’t be able to keep it down. I noticed the Gatorade on the floor next to my pile of vomit and quickly opened it up, shakily lifting it to my lips and taking a sip.

I lay in bed. Not even bothering to email my teachers. I was just gonna lay in bed, moaning. I did that for the rest of the day. I do remember being visited by the other recruit. She came by just to make sure I was okay. I would be hungover for the next three months, but I survived. That day was the last day I saw the other recruit. I haven’t seen her for the last three years. I haven’t spoken to the sorority since then either. I can only hope they never tried to kill anyone else after that. I didn’t go to the cops. I didn’t go to the hospital, not for lack of wanting but because there was no way I could have taken myself or even called 911 properly at the time, and I was afraid of getting in trouble myself if I had called the police after the incident.

This was the scariest night of my life, and I honestly hope that the sorority reads this and that they understand that this was not okay. I started off the night thinking I had a big group of friends, only to find out they would have left me to die at a moment's notice.

Fellow students just trying to make friends, sometimes the easy way out is the hardest and isn't worth it. Be careful who you trust, and please be safe!