Remember when people used to ask you how your summer was going? And you’d smile and say, “Great!” And then they’d ask what you’d been doing, and you’d smile and say “Absolutely nothing.” And it felt good inside. Like you had proudly accomplished some mythical task. You wore your inactivity like a badge of honor, and you were gleeful to share it with everyone who asked.
You’ve given up on that now though. Life got busy, and expensive, and your summer days are now spent working in one capacity or another. You still pride yourself on mornings spent abed, but it’s all for practical reasons now.
You’d think that’d be enough. You’d think the world would lay off and say “Oh, you look like you’re keeping busy, good job.” But no. It wasn’t enough. After wrapping up my freshman year at William & Mary, I quickly figured this out, and I’m sure you have too. The questions never end. What are you studying? Have you thought about careers? You need to know where the jobs are. Are you looking at any internships? How goes your bid for the presidency?
Well, fear not friends, no longer must you flee from expectant eyes or shrink in the face of overachieving peers. I have assembled a few tips for how to appear adequate after the shield of freshman year has faded.
First off, internships. If you got ‘em, you’re golden. In fact, no need to even mention your studies at all. Unless of course you just feel super confident in your general life-togetherness, in which case you are a part of the problem. Stop reveling in your superiority and just talk about your internship. It’s a magic word that’s basically meaningless, but it will distract from everything else because it sounds professional. If your internship has nothing to do with your field of study, or your hypothetical career path, even better! It’s far easier to feign interest in something you know nothing about then to form coherent thoughts about life plans you don’t have.
If you don’t have an internship, see if you can make yourself one. Working for a landscaping company, for instance, can easily be made into an “ecological development internship." If you’re working minimum wage at your old high school gig, you have my condolences. Working for the sake of money and menial labor aren’t “cool,” and worse, they don’t show “direction.” Best not to talk about it at all.
Instead, divert the conversation back to college. Talk about how a cappella changed everything, and you’ve been training your voice in preparation for the fall. This kind of claim can’t be fact-checked, and it shows initiative on your part. Even something as simple as “I’ve been reading a lot” can sound very mature and driven, provided you tie it back to a gender studies course or something.
If you get hit with “What’s your major?” and you’re a sane person with no clue, be sure to mention how much college has opened your eyes to new fields of study you hadn’t even considered before, and how much you feel you’ve grown intellectually. They may not be fooled and see the dodge, but they’ll at least keep their mouths shut about it.
And if all else fails, change the subject as fast as you can and talk about your stellar GPA. They like that, and it may save you from further questioning. If you blew fall semester, talk about the spring. Talk about that one class you aced. Or that one paper. If you didn’t have at least one good paper, all is not lost. Stare them straight in the eye, and smile, and say “I’ve done absolutely nothing.” I mean, it’s worked before, right?
