I've always been one to love personality tests. Buzzfeed quizzes, enneagram tests, not to mention horoscopes. Not that it matters which power ranger I would have been, but recently I realized all my life I've been searching for a category to place myself in. I realize now, after almost eighteen years, this probably wasn't the best method.
For the record, I'm a type 2 enneagram, an INFJ (16 personalities), and if Harry Potter was real, I'd be a Slytherin. I'm not sure what caused my obsession with wanting to "find myself", but I had a deep hole in my soul that made me feel like I couldn't be happy or be at peace until I found what I was looking for. After convincing myself that I was behind on my "journey", I spent years trying to simplify who I was with various categories. Doing those things wasn't all bad, though. I now understand what it means to be an introvert, to be an empath, and to make decisions based on my feelings more than my head.
What I was missing all this time, though, is that I didn't need a test to tell me who I was. I just couldn't see clear enough to realize these traits about myself on my own.
It's important to remember that we're always changing and evolving, and the things we once labeled ourselves as don't have to stay. It's fun -and necessary- to belong to something. Maybe it's your spirituality, your aesthetic, or your nature. These outlets are great to find new people like you and find others who are solidified in the things that define them.
I realize now that I was trying my hardest to simplify myself because I couldn't understand who I was. And I still can't, but that's the beauty of who we are I suppose. In a few months, I could take those same quizzes and get completely different answers. It doesn't mean that I answered them wrong now, it's just that I've grown. I also have learned that I won't ever stop taking childish quizzes because it's just a part of who I am!
Needless to say, I'm so thankful for the peace I've gained after using these silly tests, but I'll always have comfort in knowing I won't ever truly know everything about myself, and that's the journey.
