First off, I want to start off by saying I'm so glad that I am able to finally proceed with writing this article. I have contemplated about the title and subject of this article for more than two weeks and I am very proud of what I came up with. The process for this article took so long because I began to find myself LOSING sight of my purpose and who I really was. For anyone that knows me, you know I hate second guessing and contradicting myself and that is exactly what I was doing in the previous weeks. This article is dedicated to all those who have ever felt like I did and its also dedicated to the old me: I pray I never have to go through this experience ever again.
We all know college is a roller coaster ride. I mean, no one ever said life or school would be easy right? My question is: how could it all go wrong within a matter of the first MONTH of college?! I always envisioned myself staring straight ahead not letting anything stand in my way or side track me, but guess what? It happened. I started to lose focus and stare into my rear view mirror when the windshield in front of me is six times larger. I, myself, am the only person I can blame. I wanted to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and do it all on my own without asking for any help. I made the most common mistake anyone could have made and that was being prideful. I thought to myself 'you MUST do this on your own. You're in the real world now and no one is here to help you. It's time to woman up and take responsibility.' The entire time, my grandmother was telling me "you don't have to go through this alone because you're not in it by yourself. I love you and I will always be here for you." I should have took her advice the first time, but since I didn't I had to learn things the hard way.
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Friendships have been broken and became nonexistent. Relationships turned to a minimal if anything at all and I felt broken. I felt this way because I realized as I looked in the mirror that the only person in control of Chelsea's life and her feelings is ME. After I had this reevaluation of myself, I then realized that I'm still young and learning and I can't do this alone. Everyone deserves someone and no one should EVER have to feel like they have absolutely no one to vent to. This person was always there for me even when I didn't deserve second chances and He spoke to me one day and said "I am still with you. You just have to let Me in." This person that I speak of is God. He never left me, I just lost sight of what was important. Sadly, it took me to lose myself in order to find Him again.
I started this prayer meeting group on Wednesdays which helps me a lot. I also got back deep into my faith and being with Him rather than without Him is the most amazing, heart felt thing I've felt in a while. Long story short, "sometimes, it takes two." I couldn't have done it without you God, thank you.
