Dear DJ,

She doesn’t answer, and I told myself that I wouldn’t do this again. Knowing that you are being used the whole time, but not believing it for the sheer fact that you want to be used. You want to feel the warmth from her lips and you know that it will always fill you up. No, don’t you dare cry and curse yourself out for this, this isn’t your fault. Okay maybe it Is your fault for falling for the wrong person. We all have types right, and for some reason I fall for the girls that are damaged, the girls that can damage me more than I can damage them.

You aren’t ugly so why are you still single? It is for the same reason a lot of other people are single, I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to get hurt either, do you know how much that hurts? I have been stepped on before, and I would rather that pain than the one you feel from falling in love. Something about you changes when you know that someone is done with you. You can put on a brave front, but at the end of the day you still sulk and wish you could hide in your own shadow. You can cut your hair and start over, but what happens to that growth that you achieved in the last few months? Do you just forget it and decide to sit this one out until you feel that every is “safe?” It is never safe and you should know this by now, you are a nervous wreck and it hurts when you kiss for too long. You don’t even want to be touched afterwards because it feels like you could collapse.

Look me in the eye you dark-eyed SOB, tell me that you are awesome and that you don’t need this pain. I would probably slap you if you told me that because you would be lying. You need this pain to continue ahead. There is a reason you never ran to the store and pick up that pack of cigarettes and a lighter, you are a fighter. You are a ninja; sorry I just knew that you would laugh at that. Flip your phone over and continue doing what you need to do. Stop messing with those messed up girls because I don’t think they want to be saved.

Just write, have fun, and try to be positive because we’ve come a long way from that depressed goth kid. Now we are a fun, flirtatious, nail polish loving demisexual. Have fun my friend.

From,

The voice in your head.