Sometimes, life hurts. A lot. Things happen and change flashes before our eyes. The unexpected becomes reality. Life seems to take a turn for the worst. Sometimes we are stuck in a void wondering, "Why me?"
Oftentimes people tell us to be happy and smile. Wipe away the tears, put on some makeup, and move on. They will tell us that the past is behind us. They will say that the longer we hold on to this the more it will hurt us. They never seem to understand, do they?
According to study, there are five stages to the grieving process. Denial, anger, bargaining (begging), depression, and acceptance. Most people get caught up in that 4th one- depression. Whether or not you are reading this from a time of grieving or just a time of sadness, you can understand that it is easy to find yourself stuck in a dark cloud. You may not get sleep some nights. You may have a lost appetite. You may cry a little too often, maybe even without knowing why you are crying, and that's all OK. It's OK to cry, and sometimes even necessary.
The bible tells us that even Jesus, in all his perfectness and holiness, also cried. It's the easiest verse in the bible to memorize. I promise.
"Jesus wept." John 11:35
There you have it. Jesus shed some tears, too. Crying is a natural human response to emotional pain and stress. Since Jesus was fully human (and fully God, but that story is for another time) he clearly could feel the same emotions that we could.
Over the past few weeks I have cried quite a bit. Crying alone is one thing, but crying in front of others can be embarrassing and awkward, especially if you start shedding tears out of the blue. However, I have found that crying to people who actually care about you and are willing to listen can be a wonderful thing. It's called being vulnerable, and it's how we can connect to one another. We are all in this world together, so we all experience some of the same grievances and pain at some point. Paul tells us in Galatians to "bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2) When we tell people who care for us about our struggles, they are there for us, and often God is able to reach us through them. I have grown close to some incredible friends by opening up to them. Sometimes they have good advice, sometimes they just give a good hug. Either way, opening up to people is a great way to deal with our pain. After all, we were never meant to deal with these kinds of things alone.
I know that sometimes it is hard to find someone to talk to about our pain, but there is a God out there who is always on-call willing to listen 24/7. He hears our cries and it breaks his heart, too. Psalms 34:18 says "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." He loves us and hates to see us in pain, but he created us in such a way that we would feel things that hurt us. Perhaps God allows us to cry and feel pain in the hopes we would turn to Him in our time of sadness and distress. Matthew 5:4 says "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
The next time you feel the tears coming, do not be ashamed. Do not hold them back. Crying is a natural thing and we can use our vulnerability to find comfort and peace in people who care for us. Most importantly, we can call God on speed-dial and He will always answer, even at 4 a.m., and He will tell us great and amazing things that we could never dream of. (Jeremiah 33:3)
Tears are not a sign of weakness, they are a sign of humanity. In fact, since birth tears have been a sign that you are alive. So, don't fight those salty water droplets. Sometimes, we all need a good cry.