Change is scary. For some, it frightens us to our core. I, myself, am included among the some. I have always been a creature of habit. Wake up the same time, leave my house the same time, drive the same route to and from school, eat the same after class snacks, and go to sleep around the same time. The idea of change always sparked an anxiety in me that hit so deep it would prevent me from doing things such as going out to places i have never been or driving to locations that were unknown. I have missed out on many friend gatherings and get togethers because I refused to break out of my shell and attempt to go further than the 20 mile radius around my house.
I thought I was content with living a life of routine, I had convinced myself I was happy day in and day out, basically living in my own real-life groundhogs day. Then, there was an instance that brought my whole world tumbling down. Not getting into too many details, but this event has flipped everything I ever thought I knew about my life upside down. Suddenly there was no routine, no schedule to plan my life around, no order in this new world of chaos and I had no idea what to do. I immediately went into a panic, I began having anxiety attacks every day to the point where I was missing my classes and calling out of work. In all my 19 years on this planet, I had sheltered myself to the extent that I could not deal with basic change and that was not okay.
After about three weeks of daily stress and anxiety with small spurts of depression, I finally came out of my funk, and I came out with a completely new perspective on my life. I no longer wanted to be that person who said they couldn't go to events with friends because they had never been to the venue, I didn't want to be the boring stick in the mud I once was, what I wanted was to be happy with myself.
Ultimately I decided to start making changes in my life, albeit they started very small, but I was in control and that made me much more comfortable. I began trying new foods when I went out to restaurants and I started thinking more positively about my classes and my problems. I started to distance myself from problems that weren't mine and experimenting with my wardrobe and as time progressed, I even went as far to chop a solid half of my hair off and take up spiritual stone healing, as strange as that sounds.
Mind you it has only been about a month and a half I have been on this "change journey" but I can honestly say that I have never been more satisfied with who I am. I no longer feel as though I am wasting my days and that is something I could never say before. Now, this is not to knock those who enjoy a routine-style life, I was right there with you at one point, but for the sake of my own mentality I needed to break that cycle and I firmly believe everyone should try to too. Not to say everyone should take it to the extreme but maybe trying small things like finding a different place to study that isn't the library, listen to a genre of music you never thought you would, anything you find yourself repeating over and over as the days go by just think about ways to interrupt or enhance the norm. I have discovered how vital experiencing change has been in my own life and how much happier I have been overall, and I am finally excited to see what the unknown holds for me.