Dear Reader,

What does happiness look like to you? Don't be shy, it can be as materialistic or as emotional as you want. Think about it.

For me, happiness is cackling around a cauldron! Yes, I'm a witch but I'm not out throwing around curses willy-nilly, I came across my spiritual path much like many others: the great and almighty Tumblr. I've written articles before about how I struggle with anxiety and depression but I've never come out of the broom closet before. So it was a bright summer day and I was stuckin a dark web of depression, this summer was very difficult to navigate for a plethora of reasons but it really just comes down to my headspace. I so desperately wanted to be happy, truly happy. I wanted to glow so bright with happiness that the scars of depression would be healed. I felt stuck, not at home with Christianity, but also not really an atheist, I truly believed in something great but I just wasn't sure what that was. I had considered being a Buddhist, then maybe a Wiccan, but I finally settled on witchcraft.

Craft affords me the ability to move and really examine my personal beliefs while also not being asked to believe in something or someone. My spiritual time is spent out in nature hugging trees, no really. I've been tree-hugging since I was a kid and it's quite soothing.

As I was browsing Tumblr I stumbled upon another witch, at the time I was only a viewer and not a practicioner, she was showing pictures of her altar. An altar is where you do workings or worship ancestors and deities. It can be as elaborate or as simple as you'd like, some witches prefer lots of crystals whereas others like dried herbs and plenty of space for their grimoire.

Before I decided to take the leap I took the concept of an altar and applied to what I most needed in my life: happiness. I decided that I would collect things that made me happy and gave me comfort and use them in my altar. My idea was that this concentration of happiness would help to draw in what made me happy and bring me more peace.

The idea worked, as soon as I looked for them they started to pop up everywhere: smooth rocks that I had collected over the years gave off vibes of concentration, old sea shells from a trip to Myrtle Beach reminded me of bright sunrises and how centered I felt on the shore overlooking the ocean, sweet candles smelled like afternoons spent baking in the kitchen with my Mom and jars of rainwater smelled like my favorite fall afternoon.

By gathering all of my happy things I began to see an honest change, I remembered who I used to be. I wasn't always some depressed kid who cried all the time and spent hours in her head, I used to be happy and alive and fully present. I found childhood pictures that carried happy moments captured forever and they went up on my altar too, seeing them everyday unearthed my inner child. In witchcraft it's called child work, this is where you honestly examine your inner growth. All the children in me are sad and frustrated and in need of play time, a huge chunk of my life and growth was spent on dissociating and finding the strength needed to get out of bed and head to school.

There is no one way to be happy or how to fake it until you make it but there are ways to attract happiness to you. This is simply the way that I seem to draw in peace and joy as I grow in my own spiritual practice. Witchcraft isn't all bed knobs and broomsticks or toil and trouble, it's not always something wicked. Sometimes it's as simple as making an herbal candle or saying a prayer, I'm not levitating people (I promise).

As I continue my struggle with depression and anxiety I searched for ways to occupy my mind, I love a good project, The fact that I can see my hard work and dedication manifested into a jar or necklace, a painting or a new chapter of my book is deeply fulfilling. I started to think about what an altar for me would look like and what it would incorporate. Would I represent all elements including the spirit? Maybe I would have affirmations or use meditation daily to infuse it with my intent but then I had to figure out what that is. I just wanted to be happy and mentally healthy, I wanted to be calm during chaos and outspoken when silence was forced on to me.

The altar began to take shape, I used an old tablecloth that looked rather out of sorts in my pink and lavender room which is just the way that I wanted it. I researched herbs and scents and colors that would help to draw in what I needed and in that process I began to look forward to waking up and learning more. I started following witchy blogs, I found an old unused journal for my grimoire and started to meditate, I immediately felt better. I was honest with myself and the tears did flow but in this process my altar was born.

I started to burn more candles and found old wooden projects around my house. The four elements (including the spirit element) formed a cozy little scene that consisted of home and the happiest times in my life before my depression decided to make itself known, just looking at the pictures gave me hope that my old smile would return.

I could feel the shift in my room. There is no greater feeling than seeing a concentration of pure happiness and knowing that it was all attributed to you. Now my room regularly smells of patchouli and caramel, I use sage smoke to cleanse my space and lavender to help with any anxiety.

I feel at home in my body and fully present and aware, now I regularly journal and learn on my own. I feel at home in this spiritual practice, I finally feel happy again. I'm not out throwing around curses and hexes willy-nilly or extracting eyes from newts. I think about that day often, about how my life was literally saved all because some amazing woman decided to show her altar and expose me to a practice that I can finally grow and feel at home in.