What’s the one great unifier in this life? It isn’t race, geography, or television, and it absolutely isn’t religion; it’s music. Music? Yes, music. Music is what brings us together. Music is passion. Music is love. Music is pain. Music makes us feel alive. When else can you be transported to a specific place, time or moment in time? You can feel the feels, smells the smells and see the sights.

I’ve had the same favorite band for almost 20 years; a little trio from Louisiana called Better Than Ezra. They gained mainstream popularity in the mid-90s, towards the end of grunge but the beginning of the delicious alt-rock phase of music. BTE (or Ezra, as some people call them – I’m not one of those people) came into my life when I needed them. I didn’t know I needed them, but I did.

My friends and I have never necessarily had the same taste in music. I am typically all over the place, I like everything. I used to take two bags to sleepovers. The smaller bag held my clothes and toothbrush; the large bag had my music – I had to be prepared for any situation, as a good DJ is. When I started going to concerts, it was usually festival shows or something my friends suggested. The few times I suggested a show, it was met with mixed results or last second cancellations. That got old after a couple of times. I got tired of missing things I wanted to see and started going to concerts alone.

I’m scared of everything, so for me to go alone to a concert (insert dramatic pearl clutching, etc) was huge. The reality… it was no big deal, at all. I always liked to be in line for opening doors disgustingly early – several hours before the show starts. By doing that, I ended up talking to the people around me in line and by the time the doors opened, we were friends and felt completely comfortable all night. There’s that unifier thing, again. That good experience led to more and more solo concerts. It eventually led to meeting people on the band’s message board.

Finding out about the message board and the people there was like finding the secret of life. These were my people. They got it. I was by no means a super fan, but this was our band. We came from all walks of life, all areas of the country and world, but we had so much in common; this music. We may have liked the band or the music for different reasons, but that was really a minor difference. We deciphered song lyrics together (this was before you could Google everything. God bless Google.), shared demos and mix tapes, we shared life and memories. We just got it.

BTE has always been very fan friendly, even calling their fan Ezralites. It was kind of a religion or calling. We traveled all over the country, sleeping on each others’ couches, floors and sharing hotel rooms in cities that were not our own. We went to the shows unified, front row forever. After the shows, we’d waited by the tour bus or van and greeted the band, had conversations and took photos. This band knew us, if not by name then by sight. After 20 years, they still tour, make albums and share themselves with us.

This band has been an important part of my life for almost 20 years. Their music was there for me when I wasn’t there for myself. I drove a thousand miles in my raggedy, broken spirted Eagle Talon (I loved that car!!!) from Indiana to Texas to see BTE 4 nights in a row. I had an arrangement to stay with some internet strangers from the message board. I ended up meeting lifelong friends that trip. I talk to and interact with these folks every day. They are in my heart and my life, because of music.

Music has supported me through heartbreaks, tragedies, loves, and triumphs. Music will always be there through those things.