As many of you who follow me know, I deal with a few different anxiety disorders. They're not terribly easy to talk about because with them comes a lot of negative stigmas, and as such, I'm going to talk about them. The more information out there, the better.

However, many articles exist defining the disorders themselves, so instead of defining them, I'm here to tell you how to go about talking with people who have an anxiety disorder. Spoiler alert: it isn't that hard. They're a human. However, if you could avoid saying these six things, it will help immeasurably.

1. "Calm down."

Honestly, I know that this seems like a good gut thing to say. It's the eventual goal, after all. However, telling people with anxiety the goal isn't going to help them get there, and the problem with anxiety, in fact, is that the anxious person actually can't calm down in that moment. I'm going to liken mental illnesses to physical illnesses a lot, since most people are more familiar with them than others: telling someone with anxiety to "calm down" is like telling someone with diabetes to "regulate your blood sugar."

Telling them what needs to be done for them to feel better doesn't help them to actually do it. Besides, being anxious feels absolutely horrible. If we could just calm down, I promise you we would. If you want to help us, then tell us a way to calm down or help guide us through anxiety-reducing exercises, or even just let us know you're there. Don't just say "calm down."

2. "Hey, it's all in your head."

There are two main problems with this mentality. First of all, mental illness often isn't all in someone's head. For example, my anxiety can make it hard for me to breathe, accelerates my heart rate, can make me nauseous, can make me shaky. There's a host of physical symptoms that anxiety comes with--it's in my lungs, my heart, my stomach, my limbs. It isn't just in my head.

And second of all, saying "it's all in your head" assumes that the brain isn't an organ that can have problems just like any other organs. I have arthritis; telling me "it's all in my joints" doesn't help cure that. So why would you telling me that the chemical imbalance in my brain or the literal rewiring of neurons due to experience that causes my anxiety is all in my head help?

3. "It's not that bad."

You never know how bad someone's struggle is. Many people with anxiety are skilled at hiding their struggle, and since anxiety is so little-known, it often isn't that hard to get by without people realizing how bad people who deal with anxiety have it. For example, I did speech and debate in high school, so people didn't often guess that I hate talking in front of people.

The only reason I succeeded in speech and debate is that I learned how to fake it and hide my struggles. No one would see the panic attacks in bathrooms or the fact that I had to force myself to eat anything. It was largely hidden. I have other friends who look just like neurotypical (read: people without mental illnesses) people, but fight a battle that no one knows about. Saying "it's not that bad" isn't just assuming something you don't know, but it's also incredibly dismissive and leads people with anxiety to think that their struggles don't matter. It's a big part of the barrier to getting help. So never, never, never tell us this.

One more time for the people in the back: you never know how bad someone's struggle is.

4. "Hey, at least you don't have it as bad as [insert whatever example here]"/ "Look at it this way: plenty of people have it worse."

This mentality, that my struggle isn't valid because others have it much worse, is largely what kept me from getting help for as long as it did. I honestly felt like I was being a baby and that I couldn't have it that bad. But for anyone feeling this way, please remember: your suffering is valid suffering. I don't care if you aren't the most anxious person in the world, if your anxiety is hurting your quality of life, you deserve to get help. You deserve to feel better.

And to the people who might say this: telling us, we aren't the worst off doesn't help. You wouldn't look at someone lying on the ground with a likely broken ankle and say "Well, look at it this way--you could have it worse. Plenty of people, they don't even have Iegs." Yes, plenty of people have it worse--but that does not help with the pain that I am feeling right now. It doesn't help my struggle. It just makes me feel like an inferior person for having such a hard time with what I'm going through.

5. "I don't understand, what's so scary?"

As someone who has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, an anxiety disorder characterized by unexplainable anxiety, I hate this question with a passion. You don't understand why I'm having anxiety? Me neither, fam. Same goes for Panic Disorder, which is people having panic attacks for often no particular reason. The definition of these disorders is that they happen for no particular reason. I can't explain to you why I'm anxious, so don't ask.

On top of that, for anxiety that does have a cause, like Social Anxiety Disorder or specific phobias, the reason these are disorders are because they cause unreasonable panic. In fact, in the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5, the official manual used to diagnose mental disorders, it states, "The fear or anxiety is out of proportion to the actual danger posed by the specific object or situation." We know our fears are unreasonable. It doesn't make them any less real. So please stop.

6. "Suck it up, it's fine."

I shouldn't even have to tell you why this is a dumb and unhelpful thing to say. It's ridiculous. So please just stop, for all of our sanity.

Now that you have this handy guide for what not to tell your anxious friends, go out and be with them. Treat them like normal people, help them through their struggles. Be the amazing friend you know you are.

And trust me, if you take the time to help someone with anxiety, it'll mean the world to them.